More and more funnies.. vol: something...
- Thread starter Timmy!
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There's a commercial I've been hearing on the radio lately that goes something like this:
"Ottawa is about to see a shortage of workers never seen before."
So, if we've never seen these workers, how can there be a shortage? ???
;D
Edit to add: It's a commercial to register for a seminar/work group to be a "Gen Y employer". :
"Ottawa is about to see a shortage of workers never seen before."
So, if we've never seen these workers, how can there be a shortage? ???
;D
Edit to add: It's a commercial to register for a seminar/work group to be a "Gen Y employer". :
- Reaction score
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- Points
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THE OLD RANCHER
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride..
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'
Don't ever underestimate old guys!!! ;D
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride..
Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.
'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'
Don't ever underestimate old guys!!! ;D
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 210
The other day, heading down a freeway, I saw a vehicle done up with big letters across the back of his vehicle which said, "Traffic Ticket Defense" and then some sort of logo about getting out of tickets. Behind this vehicle, was a cop car... the cop car followed the "Traffic Ticket Defense" vehicle's every move for blocks and blocks until I lost sight of them. I can't help but, to think, the cop may have been messing with him a bit... following the "Traffic Ticket Defense" vehicle, just to un-nerve him a bit. At first, I didn't think much about the Traffic Ticket Defense vehicle... until I saw the cop car pull up behind him; I couldn't help but, to get a chuckle out of a moment like that. It would have made for a great photo, if I had my camera with me.
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- Reaction score
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-Skeletor- said:
Ridiculous NECRO, I know, just noticed.
But the picture is supposed to be a play on the old "America is at war" poster, except with Canadian troops.
That's the whole Goddamn point.
If clarification is required, send me your address, and I will bring the spoon, and a napkin to wipe your bubblin' lips.
edit
forgot the word "the")
Retired AF Guy
Army.ca Veteran
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http://myspace.roflposters.com/images/rofl/myspace/1233322296325.jpg.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace.jpg
I do not own this, nor did I create it. All credit to someone who has photoshop, free time, and a sense of humor that compares to that of many, many people here.
I do not own this, nor did I create it. All credit to someone who has photoshop, free time, and a sense of humor that compares to that of many, many people here.
Rheostatic
Full Member
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Easier to fix than a Drash.Delta26 said:
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A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way'
The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight... It should be okay next week.'
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon.
That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched these.'
He immediately drops his pants and replies, .....'Look at this, ....still in the CRATE!'
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way'
The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight... It should be okay next week.'
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon.
That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched these.'
He immediately drops his pants and replies, .....'Look at this, ....still in the CRATE!'
Official Announcement:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from a Maple Leaf to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from a Maple Leaf to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!
ironduke57
Sr. Member
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PUMA was ditched by our goverment as to expensive. Here is our new IFV:
;D
;D
George Wallace
Army.ca Dinosaur
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Now that is what I'd like to have to navigate through rush hour traffic.
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