More and more funnies.. vol: something...

[GAP]

The Horse and Chicken


On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
together. One day, the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no
avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the
chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the
chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his
friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best
Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too,
began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life. The horse
thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking
underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he could
then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse
pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (Yes, there's a moral!)


"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!"

 

[GAP]

An interesting take.....

 

[Alea]

An interesting take.....

:rofl:

... except that I would not want to see myself eaten by little "bibites" and get out of my grave (yark)... I like the sound of it all. It also reminds me of that "The curious case of Benjamin Botton" movie.


Edit: for spell check

 

[PMedMoe]

From personal experience the last couple of days:

Definition of irony:  Hospital security handing out fines* to people smoking in non-smoking areas on hospital property and then smoking in non-smoking areas themselves.

Definition of confusing:  A person in a left-hand turn lane with their right-hand turn signal blinking.

*Note:  Fines (as with parking fines here) are payable to the hospital and not the city.  :

 

[Rifleman62]

Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.. 

 

[PMedMoe]

Now, this is ironic......

 

[mariomike]

Now, this is ironic......

1) I am not an insurance expert. But, I wonder if a homeowner policy would be more likely to pay off for a fire, than a flood ( act of nature )?

2) Like the song says, is it possible to be too sexy?:
( Viewer discretion is advised. Speakers only, perhaps. ):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q75gREOjyFI

"Sexy prison guard too gorgeous, fired":
http://glossynews.com/society/strange-people/200908270551/sexy-prison-guard-too-gorgeous-fired/

 

[vonGarvin]

Sign number 68 that God has answered your prayers for forgiveness with a resounding NO!  ;D

 

[CougarKing]

Over 900 students and faculty at the University of Victoria, in BC, staged their own version of the music video for the song "Hey Soul Sister".

Youtube link

 

[observor 69]

Loved it! Joy, music, dancing, fun ........Great

Thanks for the link  CD. ;D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tglSCIpaXPs&feature=fvsr

 

[57Chevy]

Over 900 students and faculty at the University of Victoria, in BC, staged their own version of the music video for the song "Hey Soul Sister".

Youtube link

Excellent.......a definite arts credit
:cheers:

 

[Dou You]

Over 900 students and faculty at the University of Victoria, in BC, staged their own version of the music video for the song "Hey Soul Sister".

Youtube link

Although it is an amazing video, I think that is actually a school in Spain not UVic in BC...
It's definitely a video that makes you happy for watching it though!  :nod:

 

[GAP]

SMART ASS:

Two young businessmen  in Florida  were sitting  down for a break in their soon-to-be new  store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only  a few shelves and display racks set up. 
One said to the other,  "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by,  put his face to the window, and ask what we're  selling."

Sure enough,  just a moment later,  a  curious senior gentleman walked up to the window,  looked around intensely and rapped  on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, "What are you sellin' here?"

One of  the men  replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes." Without skipping a  beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left."

 

[PMedMoe]

A teenage boy asked his father for a car.  His father said, "If you bring your grades up, study your Bible more and get a hair cut, we'll talk about it."

The boy brought ups his grades and studied his Bible, but did not get a hair cut.

A few months later, the father said, "Well, you really improved your grades and I notice you reading the Bible all the time, but why haven't you got a hair cut?"

The boy replied, "Well, while studying the Bible, I noted that Jesus and all his Apostles and everyone else had long hair, so I figured, why should I cut mine?"

The father said, "Did you also notice that they walked everywhere?"

;D

As a parent, it's always great to get the last word.

 

[PMedMoe]

Although it is an amazing video, I think that is actually a school in Spain not UVic in BC...
It's definitely a video that makes you happy for watching it though!  :nod:

Finally got around to watching this.  Excellent video, looks like they had loads of fun!

And yes, UVIC is in Spain:  http://www.uvic.cat/en

In Vic, Spain, to be exact. 

 

[McD]

Although it is an amazing video, I think that is actually a school in Spain not UVic in BC...
It's definitely a video that makes you happy for watching it though!  :nod:

This really was well done! I picked the wrong school to go to.

 

[GAP]

BP Oil Spill Response Parodies Flood YouTube

http://www.wikio.com/video/bp-spills-coffee-3436161

 

[PMedMoe]

Raging bull, running matador

The bull charged and matador Christian Hernandez took off — across the ring, over the wall and into controversy.

The admittedly terrified torero was arrested after Sunday's botched bullfight at the Plaza Mexico, apparently for breach of contract, local media reported Monday. He was released after paying a fine.

"There are some things you must be aware of about yourself," the 22-year-old Mexican matador said in a television interview. "I didn't have the ability, I didn't have the balls, this is not my thing."

In a sight rarely seen in the bravado world of bullfighting, Hernandez made a spin with his red cape at the charging bull, then ran across the ring and leapt headlong over the wall to safety, dropping his cape in the process. The crowd hooted in derision.

......

He later said he would retire from bullfighting.

A bit more at link

Must have been one heck of a bullfight.  :

 

[2010newbie]

The Pilot from Tac.tv (3 parts)

Claymation video of airline pilots calling in a mayday and air traffic control scrambling two CF-18's to intercept.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XttWE_2ahjg&feature=PlayList&p=3B7F3862350404CB&playnext_from=PL&playnext=2

 

[Rifleman62]

Old Guys should be careful!

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.  This is the first warning I have seen for men.  I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Rona, Home Depot, Costco, or Wal-Mart customers.  This one caught me totally by surprise.

Over the last month, I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.  Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.  Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your shopping into your vehicle.  They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's almost impossible not to look.)  When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No', but instead ask for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree, and they climb into the vehicle.  On the way, they start undressing.  Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 24th.  Also June 1st, 4th,9th, 12th twice on the 15th, three times last Friday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.  What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men.  Warn your friends to be vigilant.

By the way, Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.  I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds.  I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, etc..

So, please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the look out for this scam.  (Incidentally, the best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)