Simpsons? Family Guy!

[RJG]

Now I must admit when I first saw this show I was screaming simpsons rip off, but after watching it I was hooked.

Come on, let‘s see Santa‘s little helper direct porn.

Or Let‘s see Homer get his own country.

Or Lisa join a cult where they all commit suicide.

The lsit goes on folks, no doubt about it, The Family Guy is jsut a better version of the Simpsons.

 

[D-n-A]

"Theres always been alot of tension between me and lois.. Its not that I want to "kill" lois, but I just dont want her to be alive..anymore" Stewie

 

[RJG]

"Peter: I see your bum
Stewie: Oh great, why don‘t you take a picture you pervert, so I‘ll ahve something to take to court."

"Chris: They have this game where you stick in a dollar and win four quarters....I WIN EVERYTIME"

"Chris:U mean God watches me do number 2. Well i‘m a sinner and God‘s a pervert."

"Stewie: What the Deuce?"

 

[AlphaCharlie]

Family Guy rocks... which is why I own all 3 seasons on DVD.

 

[RJG]

Oh my friend just told me the funniest one ever:

"peter: hey look my alphabet cereal is sending me a message...its says "oooooooo"
brian: peter, those are cheerios"

 

[Canadian Patriot]

I was going to ask what the purpose of this post was...And then I remembered a good line...

"Chris: When I stick this army man with the sharp bayonet up my nose, it tickles my brain! ha ha ha OUCH!...now I don‘t know math"

 

[Nox]

The episode about Chris‘ large penis is funny, I don‘t have a perticular quote but I‘m sure some of you guys do.

I also like the one where Stewie goes in Peter and kills his sperm.

 

[Slim]

Chris: "But Mom, what about the evil monkey in my closet!"

Lois: " For the last time Chris, there is NO monkey!"

Monkey: " You‘re Mine!!!" (Stands on stairs and point at Chris with evil threatening grin.)

 

[Tyrnagog]

Peter: I‘m looking for a toilet training book?

Book store guy: "Everybody Poops but You" is still the standard one, we also have the less popular "Nobody Poops but You".

Peter: See were catholic so uhhh?

Book store guy: Oh! Then you want "You‘re a Naughty Child and That‘s Nothing but Pure Concentrated Evil Coming out the Back End of You."

Peter: Perfect

 

[stukirkpatrick]

[Peter makes a joke during a Christmas play]
Spectator #1: Oh my God. I‘m so offended. I‘m going to do something about this.
Spectator #2: Mike, there‘s not really anything you can do.
Spectator #1: Wow, you‘re right. I guess I‘m just going to have to develop a sense of humor, huh?

[at Peter‘s version of Cheesy Charlie‘s]
Kid: I have 13 tickets, is that enough?
Clerk: I‘m sorry. You need 15 tickets to live.

Peter Griffin: We love the Bible in this house.
Francis Griffin: Really. What‘s your favorite book of the Bible?
Peter Griffin: Uhhhhh... the book where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.

 

[PriceCHofO]

Bully: Hey, you‘re blocking my light, you stupid baby!

Stewey: You know, my hooligan friend, I‘ve been wracking my brian in a thus far fruitless attempt to resolve our recent unpleasantness, but then it dawned on me--your cruelty merely stems from some deep-seeded inner pain, so the obvios remedy is a healthy dose of OUTER PAIN! :rocket:

 

[PriceCHofO]

Lois: What‘s Brian doing?
Meg: Oh - My - God.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: He‘s violating Seabreeze!
Peter: No no, he‘s just awkwardly positioning himse--now he‘s violating Seabreeze...
Stewey: Bow chicha wow....

 

[K. Ash]

The one with William Shattner.

Captain Kirk: Men this is a very dangerous mission, there‘s a good chance that one of us will not make it back a live. Spock, Bones, and Ensign Ricky, your coming with me.

Ensign Ricky: OH Crap!

 

[RJG]

Peter (I think): "Guns Don‘t kill people, dangerous minorities do"

 

[D-n-A]

Originally posted by RJG:
[qb] Peter (I think): "Guns Don‘t kill people, dangerous minorities do" [/qb]

gun:come on timmy squeeze me and ill make bad people go away

 

[RJG]

LOL Oh my, gotta love it.

 

[condor888000]

Counselor: I‘m going to have my eye on you, whats your name?
Peter: Uhhhh, (looking around sees...) Pea...tear...griffen. Peter Griffen! Ah, crap!


Death: (eats whole chicken leg at once)
Meg: How can you do that?
Death: When I was younger I did some, ah, movies that I‘m not very proud of.

Meg: Can I be in the movie?
Brian: No!
Producer: While on of the hottub girls didn‘t show. How long can you hold your breath underwater?
Meg: Really long!

 

[condor888000]

Stewie: Women are so complicated. My, wouldn‘t it be great if I turn out to be a homosexual?

 

[chalk1]

(Stewie, while hidden in a locker in the girl‘s changing room) "That‘s odd...I seem to have been stricken by rigamortis..."

 

[AlphaCharlie]

Originally posted by McBear:
[qb] (Stewie, while hidden in a locker in the girl‘s changing room) "That‘s odd...I seem to have been stricken by rigamortis..." [/qb]

It‘s acctually "That‘s odd... it seems my wee-wee has been strucken with rigamortis"

close though.