• Thanks for stopping by. Logging in to a registered account will remove all generic ads. Please reach out with any questions or concerns.

"The" Essay (merged)

Globemaster77 said:
The recruiter specifically told me to think about making the essay different and unique as it is the one thing that I can personalize in my application.

Who do you trust more; the recruiter, or random people on the internet?

Do what your gut tells you and stick to it.  You seem smart enough to come up with your own decisions.
 
Noctis said:
Who do you trust more; the recruiter, or random people on the internet?

Do what your gut tells you and stick to it.  You seem smart enough to come up with your own decisions.

LOL haha, come to think of it you're right.  ;D
 
Or they may just view it as "this person can't even follow some simple instructions"

The recruiters themselves have nothing to do with the selection board, my recruiter barely knew anything about the ROTP program alone, he had to direct me to someone else. They make sure all your I's are dotted and T's are crossed then forward your application to be reviewed.

There are also plenty of ways to create a unique and legitimate answer to that question without going off on a bunch of tangents.
 
Motard said:
Or they may just view it as "this person can't even follow some simple instructions"

The recruiters themselves have nothing to do with the selection board, my recruiter barely knew anything about the ROTP program alone, he had to direct me to someone else. They make sure all your I's are dotted and T's are crossed then forward your application to be reviewed.

There are also plenty of ways to create a unique and legitimate answer to that question without going off on a bunch of tangents.


This is also one way to look at it.
The topic of the essay is something along the lines of:
Why do you want to attend the listed Academic institution?"
The instructions were not: " Why are you a better candidate than the others?"

They never specified: Because I'm good at this and this.
I want to go because I did this, I did that...

I just wrote about my experience at a cadet pilot summer course at an active military base.
About how I learned a lot from the military and how my experience living the military life alongside reg force members helped me determine my career choice. From that I can relate to my skills and how I'm aware of what the forces can do for me.
And I obviously picked out specific events during my stay at the base which showed my skills/personality/character.
 
Sammy0max said:
        Twenty five hundred years ago, Sun Tzu said “The commander stands for the virtues of wisdom, sincerity, benevolence, courage and strictness.”

nice quote :salute:
 
Hey guys, I was emailed the RMC portal link two weeks ago and I plan on submiting my application very soon. What are some tips in writing the essay? I tried to focus on what RMC has to offer juxtaposed to a civilan university, as well as show that I am knowledgeable about the programe. Opions on my essay?
Some things I was told was that I should talk more about myself and provide examples, but the academic questionaire already answers a lot of these. Should I still add in more of such information? Thanks in advance for any help!

---

  Education is universally sought, though it is only through sacrifice and experience in which one can create a path to enlightenment. Such sentiments are echoed in my reasons for seeking a future with the Royal Military College (RMC) as opposed to a civilian institute. RMC has the tools to allow me to grow as a leader, contribute to the benefit of others, and will allow me to fulfill my goal of having a successful career as an Air Force Pilot in the Canadian Forces.

  The military component built around ones academics is the distinctive characteristic of RMC that I find valuable and constructive. In Cadets, I have experienced camaraderie as a by-product of like-minded individuals working towards a common goal. At RMC, such an environment similarly breeds discipline and respect through drill, dress, ceremony, practical training, weekend exercises, and more. Secondly, basic training at Saint-Jean instills basic leadership tools---critical for all positions in the Canadian Forces---that are to be tested and utilized throughout the following year. The hierarchical structure is a distinguished part of the Leadership Programme that prepares one for future endeavors. A civilian university does not provide the aforementioned. I seek to be part of an environment where I believe “we are in constant search of something beyond, of national dreams and destinies that we reach toward, together.” (Adrienne Clarkson).

  In addition to mental strength, physical health is an important factor in all aspects of life and in the Canadian Forces. The implemented Physical Education and Sports Programme at RMC is another outlet that creates a healthy lifestyle to meet the high physical and mental demands endured in training. These activities also help one to appreciate the value of teamwork, a critical component for all positions at RMC; the FYOP Obstacle course is a staple of the aforesaid quality. Officer Cadets undergo regular fitness tests and are presented with the opportunities to participate in intramurals and sports one already excels at and to have new experiences. Civilian Universities do not demand both the physical and mental toughness as described. I would look forward to continuing my involvement in soccer, the prospects of learning new skills, and improving my physical fitness in terms of endurance, agility, and muscle strength in the exciting ways RMC offers.

  It all begins inside oneself, and there is something that has no name, that something is the essence of one. I have exhibited strong virtue in the three major pillars of my life: school, work, and community, respectively. RMC will allow me to continue a scientific pursuit, to better the lives of other, and to exercise my passion for knowledge. My enrolment in a Leadership course provides the platform to become involved in my school and local community. As a goal of the course, I will have completed a minimum of 100 hours by the end of the school year. Additionally, the cadet program has instilled attributes of good citizenship and leadership, self-confidence, and communication skills- the building blocks I intend to grow upon through RMC and its Leadership Programme. The supplementary military training that pertains to ones desired job during the summer at the end of the second year greatly interests me. Cadets have immersed me in the world of aviation, and I have cultivated my passion by participating in Ground School and by putting my best effort towards the Private Pilot Scholarship. Furthermore, I have taken every powered familiarization flight in which I have continually impressed the Ground School Instructor/ Commanding Officer at the time. “ will forever walk the earth with [my] eyes turned skyward, for there have been, and there will always long to return.” (Leonardo Da Vinci).

  The Royal Military College of Canada provides genuine and pragmatic knowledge, ensuring one is learned in the classroom; sports, and moral fields. RMC has a rich history, reputed as “a university of leaders.” And I aspire to one day march through the Arch.


If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me. Thank you for your time and consideration, 


---


 
AirNavigator said:
What are some tips in writing the essay?

Some here.

"The" Essay (merged)
http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/103272.0
 
Good day everyone,
I am happy to say that my Component Transfer is going smooth and had been contacted on multiple occasions to begin the process by handing in my RMC application, and than being booked for an interview. I would appreciate some feedback on my essay portion of the application, as every critique made is helpful.

Part 4 – Reasons for Attending RMCC 
In the space provided, please explain your interest in the ROTP/RETP and your desires to pursue a career as an officer in the Canadian Forces.

  When I was 10 years old, I always had one vision, one goal, one dream, and one desire which is to be a soldier and fight for this country I love. My deep patriotic feelings made me choose one decision that would change the way I live my life for as long as I live. Reflecting on my life, and what I wanted to do with it, I saw myself as a leader. I see myself as a man who is hard working, strong, brave and rational that can act and react when stress proliferates. I finally made the decision and joined the Reserves as an infantry soldier in The Lorne Scots Regiment when I was 16 years of age. My brother whom is a Corporal at 1RCR motivated me in going regular force, which is what my initial plan was. I joined the reserves to be one step closer in fulfilling my dream which is to be an Infantry Officer in the regular force in the Royal Canadian Regiment. After completing my reservist BMQ and my infantry DP1, I knew that I did not belong in the reserves, rather, my heart belonged to the regular force. I do not look at the military as a job, rather, a way of life. I knew that being an officer in the Canadian Forces is what I want, and I was willing to work hard to achieve my goal.

  I am highly interested in the ROTP program to become an Infantry Officer in the Canadian Forces. I am a hard working soldier and had shown that throughout my courses in the reserves. I am a highly successful academic student whom earned the Ontario Scholar Award and completed high school with an 86 % average taking all university level courses. I currently am getting around 80S in my first year of university. Motivation, dedication, and hard work are the key factors that help me achieve pleasant marks. I remind myself every day, looking at my uniform hung in my room, thinking to myself one day I will be an infantry officer in the Canadian Forces, and I know it will happen.

  I have been told by many of my peers and fellow soldiers that I have trained with that I am a good leader. What makes a good leader is a leader that is able to get his soldiers to trust him, and execute quick rational decisions under limited time and stress. Having the responsibility of leading troops to battle, and planning out an attack and passing down orders is what I desire. I am highly motivated in becoming an officer in the Canadian Forces to bring the inner leader out of me and put it in good use that will benefit the Canadian Forces. Continually learning new knowledge is what I strive for, and with my academic history and practical knowledge, I believe I would make a good leader. My leadership experience is shown through my participation in various teams.

  To begin with, I was a member of my high school's football team, wrestling team, soccer team and the fitness club. Throughout my years in high school, I was given the opportunity to coach wrestling to some of the younger inexperienced wrestlers, and was given the opportunity to go to David Leader Middle School on behalf of my high school and teach those students everything they need to know about wrestling. I displayed integrity, enthusiasm, organizational skills and was open minded to the diverse people I worked with. I work well with others which maximizes the efficiency of teamwork. I am resourceful in the sense that I ask questions when I am confused, I utilize resources around me and improvise when necessary. As a leader, one must listen. I am willing to work with others to understand the needs and desires of others, specifically my fellow soldiers. I regularly ask many questions and consider the opinions and options of others before consolidating one solid decision.

With everything I have mentioned, it is time to explain what I can offer to the Canadian Forces. Being an officer in the Canadian Forces demands one who can lead, teach, listen to others, be bold and confident in their decisions and act rationally. I had experienced such factors throughout my life, such as when I was given the opportunity to be section senior during BMQ. Additionally, I navigated our lost group during DP1 back to the fob after stepping up and taking lead. Whilst my group was lost in the middle of a patrol in CFB Meaford, I stood up and notified my Sargent that I am confident in my navigation drills and can lead the way back, which is what I did. When I set my mind to something, when I set goals, I work hard to accomplish those goals and do whatever is necessary to get the job done. Every day on course I woke up happy, motivated, and proud of what I was doing with my life. The time has come where I wanted to commission and go full time, and when reflecting upon my life, I see myself in the Canadian Forces until I am forced to retire. If I am given the opportunity to become an officer in the Canadian Forces, the man they will be hiring is a man who is willing to give blood to complete my job, and put others before self.
 
DarkInfantry232 said:
I would appreciate some feedback on my essay portion of the application, as every critique made is helpful.

For feedback, perhaps you could post your essay in the essay thread.

"The" Essay (merged)
http://army.ca/forums/threads/103272.0
"Hello everyone, I need some feedback for my essay."
 
mariomike said:
For feedback, perhaps you could post your essay in the essay thread.

"The" Essay (merged)
http://army.ca/forums/threads/103272.0
"Hello everyone, I need some feedback for my essay."

Thank you Mariomike, will do.
 
Good day everyone,
I am happy to say that my Component Transfer is going smooth and had been contacted on multiple occasions to begin the process by handing in my RMC application, and than being booked for an interview. I would appreciate some feedback on my essay portion of the application, as every critique made is helpful.

Part 4 – Reasons for Attending RMCC 
In the space provided, please explain your interest in the ROTP/RETP and your desires to pursue a career as an officer in the Canadian Forces.

  When I was 10 years old, I always had one vision, one goal, one dream, and one desire which is to be a soldier and fight for this country I love. My deep patriotic feelings made me choose one decision that would change the way I live my life for as long as I live. Reflecting on my life, and what I wanted to do with it, I saw myself as a leader. I see myself as a man who is hard working, strong, brave and rational that can act and react when stress proliferates. I finally made the decision and joined the Reserves as an infantry soldier in The Lorne Scots Regiment when I was 16 years of age. My brother whom is a Corporal at 1RCR motivated me in going regular force, which is what my initial plan was. I joined the reserves to be one step closer in fulfilling my dream which is to be an Infantry Officer in the regular force in the Royal Canadian Regiment. After completing my reservist BMQ and my infantry DP1, I knew that I did not belong in the reserves, rather, my heart belonged to the regular force. I do not look at the military as a job, rather, a way of life. I knew that being an officer in the Canadian Forces is what I want, and I was willing to work hard to achieve my goal.

  I am highly interested in the ROTP program to become an Infantry Officer in the Canadian Forces. I am a hard working soldier and had shown that throughout my courses in the reserves. I am a highly successful academic student whom earned the Ontario Scholar Award and completed high school with an 86 % average taking all university level courses. I currently am getting around 80S in my first year of university. Motivation, dedication, and hard work are the key factors that help me achieve pleasant marks. I remind myself every day, looking at my uniform hung in my room, thinking to myself one day I will be an infantry officer in the Canadian Forces, and I know it will happen.

  I have been told by many of my peers and fellow soldiers that I have trained with that I am a good leader. What makes a good leader is a leader that is able to get his soldiers to trust him, and execute quick rational decisions under limited time and stress. Having the responsibility of leading troops to battle, and planning out an attack and passing down orders is what I desire. I am highly motivated in becoming an officer in the Canadian Forces to bring the inner leader out of me and put it in good use that will benefit the Canadian Forces. Continually learning new knowledge is what I strive for, and with my academic history and practical knowledge, I believe I would make a good leader. My leadership experience is shown through my participation in various teams.

  To begin with, I was a member of my high school's football team, wrestling team, soccer team and the fitness club. Throughout my years in high school, I was given the opportunity to coach wrestling to some of the younger inexperienced wrestlers, and was given the opportunity to go to David Leader Middle School on behalf of my high school and teach those students everything they need to know about wrestling. I displayed integrity, enthusiasm, organizational skills and was open minded to the diverse people I worked with. I work well with others which maximizes the efficiency of teamwork. I am resourceful in the sense that I ask questions when I am confused, I utilize resources around me and improvise when necessary. As a leader, one must listen. I am willing to work with others to understand the needs and desires of others, specifically my fellow soldiers. I regularly ask many questions and consider the opinions and options of others before consolidating one solid decision.

  With everything I have mentioned, it is time to explain what I can offer to the Canadian Forces. Being an officer in the Canadian Forces demands one who can lead, teach, listen to others, be bold and confident in their decisions and act rationally. I had experienced such factors throughout my life, such as when I was given the opportunity to be section senior during BMQ. Additionally, I navigated our lost group during DP1 back to the fob after stepping up and taking lead. Whilst my group was lost in the middle of a patrol in CFB Meaford, I stood up and notified my Sargent that I am confident in my navigation drills and can lead the way back, which is what I did. When I set my mind to something, when I set goals, I work hard to accomplish those goals and do whatever is necessary to get the job done. Every day on course I woke up happy, motivated, and proud of what I was doing with my life. The time has come where I wanted to commission and go full time, and when reflecting upon my life, I see myself in the Canadian Forces until I am forced to retire. If I am given the opportunity to become an officer in the Canadian Forces, the man they will be hiring is a man who is willing to give blood to complete my job, and put others before self.
 
Hello, I want your opinion on my essay please. I wrote it in french this is a translation that's why my english is not perfect.

As you have seen, I had an excellent academic record in high school secondary IV and V. After entering the CEGEP, I made new friends who influenced me badly and that affected negatively my studies. I took the bad habit of procrastinating and sleeping late. I then entered university at 21 years old as a mature student, and completed the first preliminary year with acceptable grades. I then got accepted in the Polytechnique engineering school, but unfortunately I took my bad habits once again. I then went to TELUQ and Université de Montreal, but I kept ignoring my studies and giving up, which is why I have so many F’s in my university records. I was not realising that I was losing a lot of time and that I had to seriously think about my future. Since approximatively 5 years, I began helping the others and guiding anyone who had problems. (those things about helping others were all explained in the other fields of the questionnaire so theres no need to include them in the letter-this is not in the letter its jus for the forum). I then stumbled upon the forces.ca website, and started getting interested in the army. Then I discovered the army.ca forums and spent hours reading about the army.


After hours of intense thinking, I decided to enroll in the ROTP program because it is a good way for me to forge my future. I want to get disciplined, and the army is the best place for this. I already started training and studying more, and changing my life habits. Of course this is not the only reason why I decided to enroll. The army’s philosophy fits well with my way of thinking, I like to help the others, and I’m able to communicate very well with any person from any background. I read about the army’s missions abroad and I found out that the Canadian army performs honorable missions that help people that are in need all over the world.

The PFOR program combines studies, leadership, discipline, and offers me the possibility to continue helping people. That’s why I think that the RMC is the best place for me to form myself and exploit my potential, and finally become the person I wish to be. Furthermore, I am already bilingual and bilingualism in one of the four pillars of an officer. I have the potential to get good grades at university and I am capable of it, I simply was not motivated and I wasn’t thinking about myself. The PFOR program combines all the elements that motivate me, I’m really excited to the idea of getting enrolled. I want to change my life, and the life of the people I will be helping.
Thank you for your attention.

 
Back
Top