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http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/Columnists/Calgary/Jose_Rodriguez/2004/04/30/441418.html
Fri, April 30, 2004
One final disclaimer
By JOSE RODRIGUEZ -- Calgary Sun
It truly is a sad statement on what we've become.
A molly-coddled group of wimps all too willing to let others protect us from ourselves.
A litigious lot so quick to shed responsibility -- and perhaps make a quick buck in the process -- that we'll sue first, ask questions later.
Or maybe we're just becoming dumber with each passing generation.
Whatever the reason, it has given rise to one of the most annoying -- though usually hilarious -- legal necessities of modern times.
Disclaimers.
They're everywhere.
You can buy children's cough medicine that warns customers not to drive or operate heavy machinery after use.
There are sleep aids with warnings that suggest use of the product may cause drowsiness.
And irons that state their owners should not iron clothes while wearing them.
A child's superhero costume has a warning that quite clearly stipulates the cape on the outfit does not actually enable the wearer to fly.
There's bear spray that warns it may irritate eyes and a curling iron caution that states it is "for external use only." I don't even want to venture a guess as to why that last warning exists.
As stupid as they sound, they're out there and they are creeping into every part of our lives.
It's almost impossible to get an e-mail without a long legal eye-glazer.
Important stuff like: 'This message is intended for the intended recipients.'
You can't buy a cup of coffee without a label cautioning you that it's hot, or watch a TV commercial without some baritone speaking at light speed about all the things that can go wrong if you buy the product.
Now, I'm not overly naive.
I know why these disclaimers exist.
Businesses have to protect themselves from idiots and opportunists and lawyers have hungry mouths to feed like everyone else.
It's just too bad we can't put disclaimers on people.
Things like: This cracker's an absolute idiot and may actually try to take a bath with his toaster.
Or: This lady's a known gold digger and is actively seeking reasons to sue anyone for anything.
But seriously, how far do we want to go with this disclaimer nonsense?
If you buy a gun, load it, chew on the barrel and squeeze the trigger, you will likely die.
And if you don't, you'll wish you had.
Do you need a disclaimer to tell you that?
Isn't it common sense?
Sadly, I'll likely be flower food in some boneyard somewhere before common sense comes back in fashion.
Sad but true.
Before you go, though, I should leave you with one final caution.
WARNING: This column is intended for readers.
If you are not a reader, please stop reading immediately.
Prolonged exposure to this column may leave readers irritated, agitated or in other states of discomfort.
If you begin to feel lightheaded, short of breath or notice the appearance of purple welts in your lower extremities, contact your doctor immediately.
Fri, April 30, 2004
One final disclaimer
By JOSE RODRIGUEZ -- Calgary Sun
It truly is a sad statement on what we've become.
A molly-coddled group of wimps all too willing to let others protect us from ourselves.
A litigious lot so quick to shed responsibility -- and perhaps make a quick buck in the process -- that we'll sue first, ask questions later.
Or maybe we're just becoming dumber with each passing generation.
Whatever the reason, it has given rise to one of the most annoying -- though usually hilarious -- legal necessities of modern times.
Disclaimers.
They're everywhere.
You can buy children's cough medicine that warns customers not to drive or operate heavy machinery after use.
There are sleep aids with warnings that suggest use of the product may cause drowsiness.
And irons that state their owners should not iron clothes while wearing them.
A child's superhero costume has a warning that quite clearly stipulates the cape on the outfit does not actually enable the wearer to fly.
There's bear spray that warns it may irritate eyes and a curling iron caution that states it is "for external use only." I don't even want to venture a guess as to why that last warning exists.
As stupid as they sound, they're out there and they are creeping into every part of our lives.
It's almost impossible to get an e-mail without a long legal eye-glazer.
Important stuff like: 'This message is intended for the intended recipients.'
You can't buy a cup of coffee without a label cautioning you that it's hot, or watch a TV commercial without some baritone speaking at light speed about all the things that can go wrong if you buy the product.
Now, I'm not overly naive.
I know why these disclaimers exist.
Businesses have to protect themselves from idiots and opportunists and lawyers have hungry mouths to feed like everyone else.
It's just too bad we can't put disclaimers on people.
Things like: This cracker's an absolute idiot and may actually try to take a bath with his toaster.
Or: This lady's a known gold digger and is actively seeking reasons to sue anyone for anything.
But seriously, how far do we want to go with this disclaimer nonsense?
If you buy a gun, load it, chew on the barrel and squeeze the trigger, you will likely die.
And if you don't, you'll wish you had.
Do you need a disclaimer to tell you that?
Isn't it common sense?
Sadly, I'll likely be flower food in some boneyard somewhere before common sense comes back in fashion.
Sad but true.
Before you go, though, I should leave you with one final caution.
WARNING: This column is intended for readers.
If you are not a reader, please stop reading immediately.
Prolonged exposure to this column may leave readers irritated, agitated or in other states of discomfort.
If you begin to feel lightheaded, short of breath or notice the appearance of purple welts in your lower extremities, contact your doctor immediately.
