The writing is on the wall

[StevenPeece]

Isn't it amusing what kind of sh*te people write on toilet walls? (Excuse the pun)

I remember once running to the toilet in darlington Railway Station. I was busting for a crap and had a turtle's head hanging out of my arse. It was 2 pence to get into a cubicle and would you beleive I had one 2 pence peice and it was slightly bent and wouldn't go in the slot.

I gritted my teeth as a worthy understanding publican swapped my coin for me, whilst I nipped my arse cheeks together. When I finally sat down on the pot and lightened my load I read some writing on the wall that said:

Here I sit broken Hearted, paid 2 pence and only farted!!

Anyone got any more?


Steve

 

[winchable]

Wow, Literally "Pottie Humour".

;D

The Economy Shoe Shop in Halifax has a picture of a naked woman holding a mans head in a headlock. The best part about that is, it's commissioned work by the shoe shop and not actualy graffiti but it does appear in the mens washroom stall.

At work here we're always trying to catch each other out and one of the guys put up a sign with a picture of Jeff Goldbloom (From "The Fly") where he's got  really intense stare and underneath it, it says "Jeff Goldbloom is watching you poop" I came in and sat down one day, looked up and noticed it and was so disturbed I actualyl couldn't go.

And finally, my favourite not for being clever but simply for shocking me, at Birmingham New Street Train Station someone wrote "The Queen was here, and despite what anyone says, her ________  does not stink"


I'm waiting for someone to find this thread gross and offensive but I think toilet humour (again, literally) is funny.

 

[dk]

One of my favorites is still...

Flush twice! It's a long way to the vending machine.

 

[paracowboy]

old classic that still makes me smile whenever I see it:

"Stand closer. It's shorter than you think."

 

[NavComm]

If you tinkle when you sprinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie

 

[I_Drive_Planes]

The flight school where I learned to fly had the following posted:  "Those pilots with short props and/or low manifold pressure please taxi closer to the offloading area as the next pilot may not be float equipped!"

My mother has posted across from the toilet the "Poopie List" a comprehensive list of all of the different varieties of defecations.

Planes

 

[Kat Stevens]

Across the bottom of a stall door at the Jolly Miller Pub in Vedder Crossing, BC: "Beware of gay limbo dancers."

 

[Sig_Des]

I saw one similar to Preece's.

"Here I sit all broken-hearted, thought I'd sh*t, but only farted"

right below it, someone else had written,

"Don't be so sad at heart, someday you'll sh*t when you thought you'd fart"

 

[BDG.CalgHighrs]

At UofC there used to be a stall in the basement of social Sciences legendary for the things written on it.  Over the summer a few years back, they painted over all the graffiti. about two days into class, a new one appeared over the fresh paint:


Some come here to sit and think,
others come to shit and stink,
but me I come to itch my balls,
and read the writings on the walls.


Below it was written:

The Janitor's work is all in vain
The shithouse poet strikes again

 

[Long in the tooth]

One of the most imaginative is:

She offered Her honour;
He honoured Her offer.
And all night long,
It was honour and offer.

Clever on a few levels.....

 

[larry Strong]

Usually seems to have to do with someone being "Gay" or "For a good time, call 555-6969",...I guess as long as your phone number don't show up it's a good thing ;D

 

[Kat Stevens]

on a stall wall in Senelager (I think) :  "We who write on bathroom walls,
                                                        should roll our s**t in little balls,
                                                        You who read our words of whit,
                                                        should have to eat those balls of s**t."

 

[Trinity]

Its not the writings on the wall that amuse me....

Its the people who come by later with a pen and correct the spelling, grammar
or try to rebut what someone has written.  Like the original owner is going to come
back and continue a conversation??!??!?

 

[George Wallace]

Its not the writings on the wall that amuse me....

Its the people who come by later with a pen and correct the spelling, grammar
or try to rebut what someone has written.  Like the original owner is going to come
back and continue a conversation??!??!?

Actually....I have seen that done.  Over a period of time the conversation got quite interesting....but sort of ended abruptly for some reason....

 

[Sheerin]

My personal favourite was in the basement bathroom in the Environmental Science Centre at Trent (it also houses the Biology, Environmental Resource Sciences and Geography depts), on the toilet paper dispenser someone had written "Cultural Studies degrees, please take as many as you like".

Of course what was really funny was that someone from Cultural Studies took offense to this and wrote a long diatribe on the wall about how important useful that degree was...

 

[clasper]

Here I sit in stink and vapour
Some f***ing moron used all the paper
Here I wonder, here I linger
Oh what the hell! I'll use my finger

 

[BDG.CalgHighrs]

One of the most imaginative is:

She offered Her honour;
He honoured Her offer.
And all night long,
It was honour and offer.

Clever on a few levels.....

Reminds me of a toast I like.


Here's to honour,
If you cant ___ in her
___ on her


I assume everyone can fill in the blanks.

 

[Rhibwolf]

Here I sit in stink and vapour
Some f***ing moron used all the paper
Here I wonder, here I linger
Oh what the hell! I'll use my finger

An old favourite for sure, but having been on exercise with L'Armee de France, not particularly funny to see it in action.  Word to the wise, if you go, bring your own TP. 

Commonly seen in Grafenwöhr, " Last Graf"  as well as
Americans are like bananas: born green, turn yellow, and die in bunches.

 

[SprCForr]

Across the middle of the stall door, in very small writing, at the Jolly Miller Pub in Vedder Crossing  BC:

"You are shytting at a 45 degree angle."