Reserve Officer Policy

[031RCR]

Question: I am just starting my career so please excuse me if this is a stupid question.  I am going into 031 Regular Infantry as an NCM.  What would be the policy for someone like myself as an NCM dating a woman who is an officer in the reserves?  Let me know, thanks.

 

[pbi]

It depends, like many things to do with the status of Res soldiers. During those times that she is NOT subject to the Code of Service Discipline (most of the time, for most "traditional" Class A Reservists), she is basically a civvy. No problems.

However, the moment she becomes subject to the NDA (i.e she sets foot on DND property in uniform or not, is on board a CF veh or ship, is present at the drill or training of a CF unit, etc), then she is to all intents and purposes a commissioned officer.

So what?

Well-it depends on the policies set by the command you belong to: school, unit, base, HQ, etc. In general, the CF is pretty liberal about it, except for things like spouses in each other's chain of command, access to each other's personnel records, etc. Training establishments tend to be stricter, especially if there is a student-instructor relationship involved, but that is unlikely to be your situation. Mess life is nowhere near as strict as it once was on this subject , but you should check with the PMCs of both her Mess and yours in order to avoid embarassment. Finally you might want to ask how your own friends would relate to her (and to you...) in this situation. If it all works, good for you.

Cheers.

 

[RangerDave]

Normally I would never tell you to listen to a Patrica but in this case, he's correct. Cheers.  :dontpanic:

 

[3rd Horseman]

Ive been waiting for a specific response but have not seen it yet...so let me. If she is truely an officer it wont be your choice. And the other simple answer it shall never happen. Solution why dont you join as an officer.

 

[geo]

Well, for one thing, you aren't members of the same unit.... good.

Don't show up at either member's mess in uniform.

You & she should never talk outa bed about what is going on in each other's unit

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Is she sure she knows what she's doing? (just checking)

Make sure that the PMC of the mess knows who / what the guest happens to be
Make sure her CO is aware of who you are & what you are....

Have fun!

 

[hockeysgal]

Same question different status... 
Is there a policy on two reservists from different units dating?  Both are officers of equal rank.

And what if they visit your mess or vice versa, like for a mixed dining in?  Should they go as a civvy or in uniform?

 

[George Wallace]

Same question different status...  
Is there a policy on two reservists from different units dating?   Both are officers of equal rank.

No.   There are no problems there.

And what if they visit your mess or vice versa, like for a mixed dining in?   Should they go as a civvy or in uniform?

They would wear the appropriate dress dictated for that function, be it in uniform or not.   Both would wear the same Order of Dress

 

[rifleman]

I would suggest at a mixed dining-in one wears a uniform and the other wears civies.

 

[George Wallace]

As Serving officers they would probably be both in Mess Kit.  Women do have the option of formal Gowns, however, medals don't hang so well on a gown.  ;D

 

[pbi]

I would suggest at a mixed dining-in one wears a uniform and the other wears civies.

This is what I've usually seen in Res units, but I suppose the CO could order uniforms as the dress for all military types attending.

Cheers

 

[geo]

Officer's dining in.......
An escort (who is an OR) would Not wear his or her service dress. Never.
(unless (s)he intends to stand up and start serving wine and clearing the table)

OR's social....
An escort (who is an Officer) would Not wear his or her service dress. Never.
(ORs want to let it all hang out and have a good time - away from the prying eyes of their Officers & Sr NCOs. They want peace & they want space)

Just my opinion.... but it's been developed over 35+ years of service in Reg & Res units

 

[George Wallace]

Let's not confuse the issue.  We are talking about two Serving Officers, from different Units, going as a couple.

 

[GO!!!]

What if I'm married, in a polygamous relationship with 3 women, 2 of whom are officers, from units that supply and transport mine and one who is one of my subordinates?

What is the army's policy on this? Can I bring all three of them to the mess? Can I go to their messes? What if one of them is in the reserves, and their CO has a mess function, do the other two count as spouses - should they go in uniform?

Can the army regulate every single portion of my personal life?

To all the posters here, it is always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, if in doubt, carry on like you would if you were'nt in the military. We have tons of silly rules that are not enforced anyway (like the requirement to seek permission to marry from your CO), so don't worry unless someone says something.

 

[George Wallace]

Deja Vu!

I have seen that tirade before.

 

[GO!!!]

Deja Vu!

I have seen that tirade before.

I was just stating my personal circumstances

Also, does anyone know of good sources of information on breast reduction, and the treatment of bisexual female nymphomania?

I'm really suffering here...

 

[geo]

Let's not confuse the issue.   We are talking about two Serving Officers, from different Units, going as a couple.

Sorry George, was thinking of the original question
missed the point about two serving officers in two different units

 

[geo]

What if I'm married, in a polygamous relationship with 3 women, 2 of whom are officers, from units that supply and transport mine and one who is one of my subordinates?

What is the army's policy on this? Can I bring all three of them to the mess? Can I go to their messes? What if one of them is in the reserves, and their CO has a mess function, do the other two count as spouses - should they go in uniform?

Can the army regulate every single portion of my personal life?

To all the posters here, it is always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, if in doubt, carry on like you would if you were'nt in the military. We have tons of silly rules that are not enforced anyway (like the requirement to seek permission to marry from your CO), so don't worry unless someone says something.

GO!!!
going out with the fem officers from other units -  not a problem
going out with a subordinate could be a problem
bigger problem if all 3 get together and decide that the 3 are more interesting amongst themselves VS having you around.
Bringing em to your mess or going to theirs.... Ummm: with base messes; your mess and their mess are probably one and the same - so yes, you may bring them to the mess in singles, pairs or treos
What if one is a reservist?... she buys the drinks - she probably makes more money than you do
Doing as you would in Civy street is pretty much an appropriate guideline - so long as you're not talking about the etiquette picked up hainging around a biker bar.
Old traditions like asking the CO?
- so long as he does not try to exercise the King's perogative to "bed" the bride, he's entitled to an opinion.... and so are you.

 

[Naralis]

OCdt Gareau, I'll be sure to look out for the other OCdt running around the RMR.

 

[ggranatstein]

He might be in the 712... I'll be on the lookout too.