Peoples Attitudes changed when stated I was joining

[Samsquanch]

I was shocked to see poeple not sporting a poppy on Nov. 8th at the recruiting center writting the cfat. Someone should have told them to go home!!! They had some at the front desk thank god. Back to the main topic my bro. is a neo-hippy political science student at a university and he supports my decision to join. Pretty wierd if you ask me? My mom hates it and my Dad is very supportive... Girlfriend says I can join if I'm not the radio man (always gets shot in the movies). ;D

 

[career_radio-checker]

Girlfriend says I can join if I'm not the radio man (always gets shot in the movies). ;D

Yah but what the movies don't show is the radio-man in the back of a heated truck, watching DVDs and drinking his Timmies.  ;D

 

[baudspeed]

Well its been a while since i have started the thread, so i decided to check up on it. Wow its getting long.
Just an update. It has been a few months since i have stated to my family and friends that this is what i am doing. I dont regret telling them, but I do regret discussing my decision with people at work. It caused no end of issues for me right up until the last day. Even my boss used it as a point to joke and tease on, and was very consistant i might add. I thought i would pass on my perspective for those who may find themselves working in a place that has lots of people and a successful rumor mill. I received no negativity, but lots of awquard moments from career office people who asked and when i replied with 'yes', then did the whole surprised 'wow....<insert uncomfortable silence here>' moment.

So for those of you who are proud to step up to the plate in the same way that I am intending to do, keep in mind that dispite the fact that there is honor in the proffession, tread lightly in the current workplace, since you will have to deal with the questions right up until the last day and for most people it will be the day before quitting to go to BMQ.

As for friends and family, most of my family still asks me if am still intending on applying, and they get the same answer as I gave them months ago. I'm committed. As soon as my PT is up to stuff, im getting signed up.

 

[spqr]

My supervisor just blurted out "wow I hope you don't get your head blown off" at first. We are good friends and have spent weeks at a time in the backcountry together.  It was a funny moment and then he watched the infantry officer video on the website with me and said it again a bit more seriously.  I didn't realise how worried and serious he was until I saw the letter he wrote to explain my departure to the 200 staff we supervised.  It said that I "will put a face to those brave people on the news that have to suffer from time to time for the sake of our values."  (I damn near cried)

Tommorow is my big going away party at work (Nov 11, nobody has mentioned the connection), and like most large organizations a call went out for people to attend if they want.  I received a ton of rsvp's right away and people are so thrilled to see me make the move.  I work in a place that some would say was full of super liberals and tree huggers (I would bet the Green party would win an elelction if these few hundred people were the only voters) and I have yet to hear one bad thing about my decision - even through the rumor mill.  For a bunch of lefties there certainly is a lot of support for the military and the Afganistan mission and for me.

Anyway, thats my story.

 

[Alex]

My supervisor just blurted out "wow I hope you don't get your head blown off" at first. We are good friends and have spent weeks at a time in the backcountry together.  It was a funny moment and then he watched the infantry officer video on the website with me and said it again a bit more seriously.  I didn't realise how worried and serious he was until I saw the letter he wrote to explain my departure to the 200 staff we supervised.  It said that I "will put a face to those brave people on the news that have to suffer from time to time for the sake of our values."  (I damn near cried)

Tommorow is my big going away party at work (Nov 11, nobody has mentioned the connection), and like most large organizations a call went out for people to attend if they want.  I received a ton of rsvp's right away and people are so thrilled to see me make the move.  I work in a place that some would say was full of super liberals and tree huggers (I would bet the Green party would win an elelction if these few hundred people were the only voters) and I have yet to hear one bad thing about my decision - even through the rumor mill.  For a bunch of lefties there certainly is a lot of support for the military and the Afganistan mission and for me.

Anyway, thats my story.

Wow spqr, that sounds like you got a fantastic reaction from your workplace.  I think what your boss wrote was amazing.  Good for him to have that kind of attitude.  When I mentioned my desire to join the reserves to my boss, she was quite supportive as well (her brother is serving in PPCLI).

To add to my previous post about peoples' reactions-  my family seems to have gotten over it, although my friends are proving to be a new obstacle altogether.  One of my friends acted as if I was going to be a murderer.  When I explained about serving my country, she acted as if I was quoting a cheesy Hollywood movie.  When I mentioned my family's military history and tradition, she referred to it as "a tradition of killing people."  I thought this was a hurtful way of looking at WWI and WWII combatants, but to each his own.  I can't wait to serve.

 

[Prospect]

I'm finally submitting my application tomorrow to the recruiting centre, and I'm getting mixed reactions.  Joining the Canadian Forces is something that I have always wanted to do, and most people in my life considerate it a worth while opportunity.  My family is supportive, but naturally, is worried about me.  My friends are supportive, and most wished that they had the nerve to join, or weren't in serious relationships that tie them down.  My employer supports the decision and is the author of one of my reference letters for the application. 

    My girl... the girl of my dreams, have an amazing relationship with, love more than anything..friend, however, does NOT support the decision....at all.  She refuses to have anything to do with me while I'm a member of the Canadian Forces.  She has worked with many army wives, and children as a life guard and refuses to put herself through the stresses of having a significant other in the military.  During the six hour conversation we had about it tonight, I pleaded with her to give it a shot.  But, regretfully, she is firm in her stance, and has a made what should have been an easy decision, much much much harder.

 

[Kat Stevens]

"My girl... the girl of my dreams, have an amazing relationship with, love more than anything..friend, however, does NOT support the decision....at all.  She refuses to have anything to do with me while I'm a member of the Canadian Forces.  She has worked with many army wives, and children as a life guard and refuses to put herself through the stresses of having a significant other in the military.  During the six hour conversation we had about it tonight, I pleaded with her to give it a shot.  But, regretfully, she is firm in her stance, and has a made what should have been an easy decision, much much much harder."

I'd say the opposite: Made a tough decision that much easier, but that's just me.

 

[Samsquanch]

Good story so far Prospect... I want to hear the rest!!! Let me know how it goes. My girlfriend doesn't want me to apply, but I did anyways! It took some finesse and a few long boring repeating talks to convince her. Now, I'm really just hoping I get in...... or did I have to sit though all that bull for nothing. If I remember any of the fountain of garbage I spewed at her I'll give you a pointer or two. Until then GIV'ER
good luck

 

[George Wallace]

    My girl... the girl of my dreams,........ , however, does NOT support the decision....at all.  .

I might point out to you that you have contradicted yourself.  If she really was the girl of your dreams, she would be supportive of you.  You have a tough decision to make.  Then there are all those old sayings about "there is always another bus", or "if you set it free", etc. 

You have one life to live, and it is much better if you are not living someone else's.

 

[Bobby Rico]

That's really tough about your girl, Prospect.  Personally, that was one of the reasons that led me to the Canadian Forces as a potential career, is because I have nothing to lose but everything to gain.  I don't have a girlfriend, nor anything that really anchors me down to a particular place- so for me it was easy.  However, I can imagine how tough it must be to be passionate enough about serving to want to join, but also have to contend with the person whom you love who is less than supportive.  It's definitely not an easy decision, and I think anybody whose truely been in love with someone should understand this.  But its your life guy, sometimes you have to cut your losses and just do it for yourself.

 

[baudspeed]

Prospect (and others)
I dont know how long you have been in your current relationship, and i dont know how long you have let the news 'sink in for her', and i wont try to suggest one way or the other, but rather give my own personal situation in replacement for advice:
I was in a long term relationship where my siginificant other was super supportive in every aspect of my existence. So supportive in fact that there was no opinion on anything. It got to the point where when i stated that I was joining the military, it was a bit of a shock and it scared her. But immediately again she was supportive, and said that she would follow me anywhere. This was a good thing. And i beleive that her intentions were honest. But my concern was two fold 1)was she being supportive because she had not thought of the implications of how many nights by herself there were going to be and 2)was her lack of opinion an example of how our relationship was operating. I had wanted a 'team' not a dictatorship. Unfortunately as time went on our relationship failed after 3 years for various reasons. But i am glad that I did not drag her through the beginning of the recruiting process and then through a deployment or two. Perhapse if she had expressed a stronger opinion and became educated on world politics and thrown herself into learning all that there was to learn about her new responsibility (yes, responsibility, because if you make a decision in a relationship, and the other choses to follow, they need to inform *THEMSELVES*, otherwise they will always be ignorant of what is to come).
So maybe the thing that you take away from this experience I am sharing is either 1) relationships complicate things, or maybe 2) that you need to find someone, who, when faced with a  life altering challenge, that they learn about it, read books, newspapers, documentarys, this website and any source that you pass to them. I am not an army brat, and I am not married to the military, but I suspect that the spouces of most of the soldiers posting take an active role in their siginifcant others lives.

Whoops... looks like that was advice afterall.

 

[Prospect]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my story.  I guess I worded her state of mind incorrectly in my original post, and so I will try again.  My girl DOES support my dream to be a part of the Canadian Forces.  She, however, DOES NOT want her boyfriend/significant other to be a member of the Canadian Forces, and refuses to keep herself in this kind of relationship.  The last time we spoke about the issue, she was the one telling me to go, and I was the one saying I should stay and find something else to pursue.  She is willing to be there for me when I need her, but she doesn't want to cry herself to sleep every night, or all during her university classes like she did on monday, for that matter.  She is a great girl, I know this now more than ever, so my decision is now harder than it was before.  I went and saw the recruiter on tuesday, and am getting the required documents now that I am home for the weekend.  I am going through with the application because I believe that this is my calling, and that it is the right thing for me to do at this point in my life.  I am wondering though, if anyone has been in the same situation and gone through with it, and had regrets about leaving.  I know becoming a soldier is probably hard enough to do by itself, without this kind dilemma weighing on you.  I have let her know about this site, and gave her about 13 pages of posts from the Homefront Forum for her to flip through so she can see that many people are very happy living the military lifestyle.  Thanks again to everyone who replied, and I would really like to hear from more people in this kind of situation.

 

[patrick666]

Soldier and sacrifice are synonymous.

 

[exsemjingo]

Hi prospect, welcome to growing older.
Your girlfriend has told you what she thinks of your joining, and that's not going to change any time soon.  Her reasons may be spurious and faulty (from what I have read they seem to be that way), but that is irrelevant as far as changing the way she feels.
You have to choose between joining the military and counting on staying with her.  Maybe she will come around, but if you join you must be prepared for her to leave.
I don't know what your plans are, so I can't make a recommendation either way; all I can do is tell you what I see.  Spend some time considering what you want long term, and then go for it.

 

[Hunter]

Prospect - It's a tough decision to make, no doubt.  But for my highly overvalued 2 cents, follow your dream.  No doubt it's going to hurt if she follows through on what she has told you.  Then again maybe she will change her mind.  As one of the older Corporals in the CF, I have had the opportunity to observe much younger soldiers with a bit of detachment that the generation gap can provide.  One thing I have noticed in many (not most, not all, but more than a few) young people who undergo a metamorphosis over the course of a few years.  Dare I say it, but I think to a large extent joining the military makes young people more respectful, organized, motvated, polite...generally better people. 

edit:  An interesting anecdote that just occurred to me:  Last Monday we had municipal elections in Ontario.  Of my co-workers at my civvie job (older tax-paying family types), maybe half voted.  I have yet to talk to a reservist who was an eligible voter who did not vote.  So I guess I should add politically aware to the above-mentioned list - go figure.

Maybe this transformation will happen to you, and maybe she will like the 'new and improved' you - not that there's anything wrong with the current version!  Maybe you will be able to give her a better understanding of what it means to wear the green, and maybe she will become a supporter, if not of the entire military then at least of you. 

Maybe she will decide she really likes how you look in your DEUs and that will end up being enough for her.  But if you decide not to join in order to keep her happy, you will never know.  That's a  recipe for relationship-ending resentment to me.  Perhaps not right away, but very likely a few years down the road.

The bottom line is that I think there are few people who didn't get their heart broken at least once, but for those it happens to, life goes on.  And many people look back on one really significant relationship from their youth with a sense of regret for what might have been,  but there will be other relationships.  I think it would be a lot tougher to look back at 40 and wonder what it would have been like to join the army.

One more thing - chicks dig guys in uniform.  They really do.     ^-^

Good luck lad.

Hunter

 

[elixa]

My boyfriend was previously engaged to a girl that wasn't supportive of his decision to be in the forces, so they spent years in an on again, off again relationship (he did almost quit for her once)  considering he's with me now it's off again for good.    I'm in the process of joining...  well let me rephrase hopefully joining, and he's very supportive.  Its a hard thing being with someone in the forces and you have to be independent enough to live without your spouse by your side at times.  He's currently in Borden for training until March   but I knew what I was getting into and the forces have been his life for 13 years so it makes him happy.  I couldn't imagine him as anything other then a soldier, it makes him the great person he is today.

So the point I'm making is that you shouldn't give up what you want in life for the person you're with.  If they can't accept what makes you happy then you'll eventually find someone that will share your dreams.

 

[medaid]

"So the point I'm making is that you shouldn't give up what you want in life for the person you're with.  If they can't accept what makes you happy then you'll eventually find someone that will share your dreams."

+ 1

 

[theguns]

When I joined, i was hit with mixed reactions.  But As time progressed and everyone saw that I was serious about my life and that I would do anything to protect this country, opinions changed.  i went from being a foolish teenager, to a man that my family and friends now respect as what I am a Canadian Soldier.  And they are now damn proud of what I am and what I want to accomplish, so just give it time if the people really care about you they will show you that they are proud of the what is the best decision you an make.  Welcome to the family.




"To a gunner there are two types of people, other gunners and targets."

 

[freeze_time311]

I know it's old, but I feel this topic is important. Everyone is going to receive some feedback in regards to joining the CF. It would be difficult not to. The CF is known for its unique job descriptions. It is even stated on there web site, "not looking for the usual 9-5, try the unique profession of arms." So a little feedback can almost be expected from everyone you know, for this is defiantly not a typical career choice.

I live in small town with alot of WWII veterans, so when I bring up the topic of me joining the CF, the typical response is, good for you, you can do it, you'd make your grandfather proud. But if one were to approach a friend that they may have gone to school with for the past 12 years and say, "I joined the CF today," you could expect that person to be a little thrown of guard. The profession is supposed to be unique, it's supposed to be out of the ordinary. It's also so challenging, that alot of people, don't ever concider a career in the forces. So it's not unusual to hear different opinions from all sources. A mother will have different concerns than a father. As will a sister,brother, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, or even a spouse.

What I'm saying is, expect different views and opinions from everyone you know. Most people would be supportive, but there is also a large population of people that have political views, which may obstruct there support of your decision. They may not necessarly disagree with you, but with the CF as a whole. Regardless of what anyone says, do what you want, and let nothing hold you back. Take everyones advise into consideration, respect there opinion, and move on.

I am presently in an argument with my girlfriend over this same matter. I have applied for the Infantry, and we're having a hard time making it work together. Her opinion about the CF is important to me, but because it is different than mine, she has a hard time supporting me. Which I can understand, she hates the thought of war, and doesn't want to live that kind of life style. But I do, I want that life style. So were making it work until I go. This is upsetting, but its what has to happen in order for me to succeed. Surround yourself with supportive people, and let nothing hold you back.



                                                                                                Jimmy

 

[baudspeed]

Well a response and an update.
I started this post last year and didnt expect so many responses. Freeze, i can certainly see what you mean. Completely right. In hind sight i should have been expecting the stunned looks when i told it to family and friends. But now they mostly have accepted that i am looking at it as a serious choice/option and not backing down.

I have lost alot of weight getting in shape for this career change and it has physically shown them that i am doing more than just talking. I have made attempts to explain why i am doing this. Most of it falls on deaf ears at times, since many of them tend to be people who simply repeat the whole 'get our troops out of afganistan' mantra without thinking about why we were asked to be there.

Either way, i digress; Over time i have seen the people around me getting use to the idea that it is going to happen sooner or later. Things have settled down, even some of my more 'tree loving' friends still talk to me.

So after the initial shock, it gets better. It just takes time. People realize that it was not a decison made lightly after a night drinking at the bar or watching a movie, but an informed decison based on personal values and modivations.

Thanks to all who have been posting/posted btw.