Merged Quotes and Sayings Thread; some useful, some junk

[Gramps]

Okay one more. SSM: "What are you doint bleeding all over my parade square? Get the F*&% out of my sight and don't come back!"

One of the newer troopies who was not totally confident with the C7 had managed to cut his nose open with the front sight while doing a present arms, his day got worse from there on in.

 

[mainerjohnthomas]

    We had one recruit on his QL1 that had consistent problems with his turnout for inspection, he managed to have something unbuttoned, dangling, off center, missing etc every single day, even with half the course checking him over before he left the barracks.  One one memorable day Pte D______ had everything corrected before inspection, and the course Sgt was impressed.
  "By god Pte D______, not bad" he said giving him the once over.
    after stopping to give him a second look, and admiring his turnout and (rare) utter stillness he continued
  "Pte D______, its a damn good thing I'm not Navy, or I'd take you right here on the parade square"
Pte D_____ froze, but some of the rest of us cracked and laughed, followed by the Sgts usual request for "many, many pushups".

 

[FormerHorseGuard]

fav quote i have heard of trg recruits.

there was this recruit on my  gmt, basic, and ql3 inf, weekend res course . no matter who gave the poor guy  drill lessons,  they  would come out very  creative  words of encouragement trying to get him to march in step with the cadence.  no matter what  the trick was tried he failed it.  broom handles were used, ropes, you name it. he just could not get it right.
finally the A Coy  SSM  decided it was his turn to try and teach this young soldier how to march.  he finally  got results after using ever F word combination and  a few new ones he did not know  he had the young soldier walking in step to the cadence the SSM was calling out.
this young recruit was like 19 years old, 6'2" plus 140 pounds soaking wet, tried hard just could not get it. The SSM marched him around and around the parade square in the armouries. everyone was out of the messes, BOR, offices and classrooms to see what  the SSM was calling down to the lowest.
But he finally got march down and the SSM was marching him right towards the rear door that  went to the bar area of the JR 's Mess and the SSm thought the recruit would stop about 3 feet away  from the door and mark time , trying to stay in step but the recruit was so excited that  he was actually  marching in step he marched right in the wall and  kept on going.

you had to be there to see the look on the SSM ( i never saw the look) i was too busy  trying to face the wall as I marched... all you heard all over the armouries , even the CO came out to see what  the screaming was about. PRIVATE W......... WHAT  THE F............. DID YOU DO TO THAT  F............ WALL    F....... BULLSHIT .DID NO ONE HERE TEACH YOU  TO MARK  F............ TIME.  GET THE F............... OFF MY  F............. PARADE SQUARE AND DO NOT COME BACK ON IT TONIGHT IF YOU WANT TO SEE F.................... TOMORROW.

I never did forget that quote. at least one other poster here should remember that  night after all he was teaching on my  course.
i never did learn to march right. or in step i was always out of step

 

[Reccesoldier]

On fall Ex in Germany (think it was 88) during an attack Zero looses control of the Bde.

LCol Taylor (8CH) hops on the means.

"Zero this is niner tango... you get a grip on this jug-fu<k or I will...out."



(Comments with overt sexual connotations removed by Moderator)

 

[NATO Boy]

My PL Warrant's first words while introducing himself outside to Demo Support on ARC 05...

"Everybody grab a piece of Canada and sit down." 

 

[Daidalous]

Moring inspection  during battle school

Pte  cuts himself while shaving.  the Mcpl walked up"  Is the pressure getting to you?  Cant hack it?  Do you just think deep down inside to end it?"  turns to the rest of us "We issued you a rifle and a bayoneet  and he uses a razor!"

 

[Polish Possy]

Heard this one yesterday ......

while in lecture for my Co-op course

Bombardier: you cadets have no sense of humour ..... I am going to get you some T.I.C.'s and issue you one !

and

Bombardier: For this course it will be mandatory to watch Saturday Night Fever and Full Metal Jacket!
Me : Why Saturday night fever Bombardier ?!
Bombardier: because you cadets don't know how to properly fold your collars !

 

[TFMO]

Wait for me....I'm your leader! - unnamed crse senior.

 

[Gramps]

His men would only follow him out of a morbid sense of curiosity. (I cant remember where this one came from but I like it)

I wouldn't follow him in to a freaking bathroom let alone an Operational Theater (Me to a few of my coworkers).

 

[George Wallace]

Frustrated RCR Sgt teaching Drill:

"I'll march you around in ever diminishing circles until you disappear up your own Ring Pieces!"

 

[redleafjumper]

A course D/S with a sense of sarcasm liked these ones (and there are certainly more variants):

Shake your head, does it sound like a pebble in a box car?


Shake your head, hear anything?  That's 'cause there's nothing in there!

 

[Polish Possy]

- Holy **** I could repel with that lose tread

*while holding our right arms striaght out *  for like 10 minutes at least

Bombardier: WHAT IS SO FUNNY ?

Me : I just Imagnined a giant bird on my arm swaking in my ear  Bombardier !

 

[NavyGirl280]

"Be the change that you wish you see in the world"

"Life is not measured but the number of breaths you take, but by the number of things that take your breath away"

 

[Old Ranger]

"Be the change that you wish you see in the world"

Nooobody go for the Three Dollar Coin!!!

"Life is not measured but the number of breaths you take, but by the number of things that take your breath away"

This of course does not apply to Underwater Diving.
(From a few close calls)

 

[NavyGirl280]

Thanks Old Ranger ... needed a good laugh

*Never thought if it that way, I suppose*

Take care 'til next time

S.Bradbury

 

[nsmedicman]

When I did my QL2 in 2001 (for the 2nd time in 10 years.....long story), we had a course WO that I believe was ex-PPCLI. He had biceps bigger than my legs, and had a quick wit to go with it. It got to a point soon after the course started that everytime I would look at him I would start giggling. A few of my favorites:

" If you ever do that again, I'll be all over you like a soup sandwich!!!"

" You are the reason some animals eat their young!!!"

" That fold in the bed is supposed to be twelve inches nummer! Do you think it is? How about I whip out my johnson and prove someone wrong!!!"

 

[nsmedicman]

I have other movie favorites:

Clint Eastwood - Heartbreak Ridge:

" You ever pull a stunt like that again, and the only thing that will beat you to the brig is the ambulance you'll be travelling in"

Sam Neil (SM Plumley) - We Were Soldiers:

"Good Morning Sgt Major"
"How do you know what kind of g*****n day it is!"

"Beautiful day Sgt Major"
"What are you, the f*****g weather man now?"

 

[3rd Horseman]

These two quotes are from a Snr NCO who could not speak english very well and were directed at his recruits who were jerking around, first one on the parade square last one to a question of the instructor about his poor math result.

"Those of you with nothing to do ...start"

"You tell me I know F**k nothing ...I tell you I know F**k all"

 

[Ex-Pat Army]

"What did you do to your glengarry Vandermortal, DID YOU TAKE A HAMMER TO IT!" Argyll Sr. NCO 1990's (Scottish accent)

"Don't you tell me about S.O.P's, You don't know S.O.P's like I know S.O.P's" Another wing nut (as above)

"There's a party in the woods, bring a woman if you can. If ye cannae bring a woman, bring a hairy arsed Mann" As related one dark night at A Five fingers place on another reality. Similar speaker if not the same as above.

and the winner is..

(Callsign 4-9er over heard speaking on radio)
"Six this is 4-9er send over", "Roger six, got it stop throwing rocks, out"
(Yells) Four Platoon, the QOR are coming up at us...THROW ROCKS!!!" - S.J. 1985

 

[Hill677]

For a common cause they gave thier lives, For themselves they Won the crown that never Fades ..!!! We Will Remember Them..!!!!!