Any Good Combat Engineer Stories(Funny Stories) everyone put on there helmets

[SprCForr]

Tp adventure training in the Yukon in the early 80's. Mid-August. Excellent trip, weather was beautiful, not enough bars. Finally get to Dawson City. We arrived a day early so no Herc yet. Arrangements were made with the school to use their gym to house us until the plane arrives. Everything is cleaned and prepped so the boss lets us out. Well, the troops manage to scatter pretty quickly. One of the early favorites is Diamond Tooth Gerties. A bunch of us are in there having a few. Not many tourists around yet, so we are pretty much the main attraction for the available (at a cost) ladies that occaissonally frequent such places. Soldiers+money+beer=needing relief of the sort that the other sex participates in. The oral version. One fellow takes up the offer and escorts the woman out. He returns a few minutes later much more steady in the nerves and alot more relaxed. The assessment is two thumbs up. So another takes the offer as well. While the second guy is out another Tp member sits down at the group of tables we have pushed together and pours himself a beer. The lady and her escort return and sit down beside the guy who just joined. A while passes and the new fellow realizes that the other sapper is just ignoring this fine piece of as...er...flesh so he hits on her. She, suprisingly     , responds warmly to his advances. He gives off the impression that this is only natural as he is the long lost heir to Rudolph Valentino. He gets a few thumbs up from across the table. So he gets a little more forward with this encouragement. Nobody has bothered to fill him in on this womans true vocation, because, well, it is obvious, and the guy isn't normally that dense, actually he's pretty smart.

Valentino is in his glory now, so he leans over and gives her a long deep passionate kiss that is returned eargerly! The table errupts in a roar! (You should be able to figure out why) Laughing, he gives her another. Boy, she just about jumps down his throat to return the kiss. Then it happens. The other sapper (the second one) leans across her towards Valentino and says,

"Sir, How did me and x taste?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Sir, she's a hooker and she just took me and x out for a blowjob, so, how did we taste?"

He turns to her, and to his utter horror, she confirms what has just been said. Lots of puking, laughing and tons more beer later, we were all still one big happy family.  

 

[patrick666]

Oh... my.. god...  :-X

 

[SprCForr]

C'mon all you lurkers out there! Submit something!

Especially you, yeah you...that's right, the one in the back!

;D

 

[aesop081]

ok well here i go....

Here we were, in Kossovo in 99.  Drving down to some local school to do a mine awareness dog and pony.  "tomohawk" Hatcher is in front of the LSVW.  So far no big story right ? Well.....Dave just got a brand-spanking new loudspeaker and is hellbent on using it.  Here is is, head out the window, yelling at locals trough the loaudspeaker " NATO...PUT YOUR GUNS DOWN" for a good ten minutes.......i could barely drive i was laughing so hard !!

July 1st 1999 i think it was...i have pictures of it...hillarious !

 

[Kat Stevens]

Schmeffo... why not get Col Kev*ns side of that story?  Not nearly as funny, I'll bet....

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[SprCForr]

Kat,

No, because it wasn't him. 

Cowboy used to mess with KM.

 

[Kat Stevens]

you said "SIR" in your first post....Wasn't KM your TC on the Yukon River go, or was he already gone by then?

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[SprCForr]

He wasn't there yet.

PM me if you want to continue fishing!   ;D

Anyone else notice the views number spike on this thread? 

 

[aesop081]

He wasn't there yet.

PM me if you want to continue fishing!   ;D

Anyone else notice the views number spike on this thread?  

A certain someone's ears were burning  ;D

 

[cantley091]

Ah the"war" between the boys from RCR and the "BB line Brawlers"on the Weekends at Sassys and Bananna Petes.It would seem every weekend the RCR would always start something with us and it always lead to a full out brawl in the bar or parking lot.And they would receive the bad end of the stick.Showing up for Monday inspection down at the old B-B lines and SGT.Bromel walking up and down the ranks of 23 field Sqd. giving each member who had a black eye or scratch and pat on the shoulder and words of praise.I do believe this war ended after 15 of us walked into Sassys ready to rock and only 2-3 of the bad guys were there and they called off the war.Good times!!  :threat:

 

[aesop081]

Mike,

Those were the days.........  ;D

There was always the fights at the river club on the quebec side !!

 

[downinOZ]

Zgon - sandbagging a propane tank in stupid heat.  Zipperhead gets extras and it's serious enough that he has to "go and help the Engineers."  Their SM came to check up on the fella in the afternoon, looked at him dying, felt sorry for him and considered the lesson learned.  Slaves continued to plug on and on...

 

[downinOZ]

Beautiful Camp Maple Leaf dog-and-pony presented an excellent opportunity for a lessons learned.  Two man thumper "falls off" the bison and makes it to Jurassic Park where it's painted pink, filled with styrofill, and cemented into a form, then returned by inter-camp mail via a different camp.  VERY glad we weren't visiting at that camp during the following two weeks. 

 

[downinOZ]

Has anyone ever seen spontaneous combustion in immersion heaters?  Anyone ever seen anyone who looked like a burned Q-tip after spontaneous combustion in an immersion heater?  That's a dangerous lesson to teach at the school. :dontpanic:

 

[SprCForr]

Late '80s Chilcotin with a Ph III (Tp Comd) course. John-boy is running the ex. Pius is the Course WO.

The task on this night was to place an obstacle belt along a trail in the densley wooded part of training area. The three obstacles (starting from the en side and working back to the fr side) were a crater group, a wire obs, small abatis. I'm standing with the candidate Sect Comd at the abatis, and everything is humming along fine. The saws are running well, the trees are co-operating, and everything is being carried out safely. We know at some point the forward section will have to fire the chambering charge and we'll have to stop work and move to the safe area. There will be a requirement to guide the forward troops through each obstacle on their way back to the safe area. It's all co-ordinated and good to go. Rat gives us the heads up that they are ready and Rocky is standing by to get them through the wire. They both fall back and we get them through the abatis and all head for the safe area. A quick count confirms everyone is present and John gives the OK to fire the chambering charge. The Zeb is charged and the button is pushed. KA-FU**ING-BOOM! Oh sh i t! A huge bright blue light lights up the defile and then the sky is blotted out by the...rocks and dirt! We were too close! You can hear the rocks and crap smashing into the trees and the smoke and dust is coming straight down the defile at us. Fall back! All thirty staff and students are booting down the trail knowing full well we are not going to out run this and sure enough we are quickly engulfed. Everyone tries to crawl up into their helmets. Rocks are crashing down every where, dirt, smoke, tree branches are hitting all around us. We are just hoping to not get hit by the huge stuff. Anyone who has been to the Chilcotin knows how rocky the place is. Lots of volcanic activity has left tons of the stuff lying around.

Anyways, the smoke clears, silence descends once again. Everyone is waiting for the screaming and moaning to begin. No one moves. Nothing. Not a sound. Then "Holy sh i t!, did you boneheads fire the main charge and not tell us?!" Everyone is still alive and virtually untouched! Absolutely amazing with all the debris that came down around us. Rat quickly assures John that it was only the chambering charge. Nothing else was even brought up. The CP confirms it. Rat and John head up to the location of the crater while the rest of us finish checking the students, there they find the proverbial 'hide a couple of Centurions" sized hole. What the hell?! The decision is made to not touch the site until daylight (in a couple hours) and figure out then what happened. The rest of the obstacles are placed quickly (extra help from the cratering section).

Turns out there was a swamp nearby, but farther back in the trees out of direct sight. Big pocket of swamp gas. A real big pocket of swamp gas. They saw that the rocks and debris had blown by the safe area, where we ran back to and easily exceeded it by another 100 m. It was a pretty impressive demonstration of the power of swamp gas. Thank god no one was hurt.

 

[SprCForr]

Same exercise - the next week, late Oct.

The mission was to conduct a fighting patrol into the old Fish Lake rehab center and blow up the antenna and an out building. Everything is prepared, the routes are selected, everyone is ready and anxious to go. Anyone who knows John-boy knows that he is capable of generating alot of fun and enthusiasm. So all the students are raring to go. And we're off! It was a long approach into the camp but since it's cooling off at night the walk is keeping us warm. No major problems in getting to the site. No enemy present at the target location (they'll get ambushed on the way back out) so they secure the site and get to work. Be ready to fire at first light. First light comes and everything is ready. Approval is given and boom! Up go the targets. Mission accomplished.

Now, that season was very dry in the Cariboo-Chilcotin. Due to the local business of logging and ranching, a very close eye is kept on the forest to make sure it doesn't burn. The chain knows this and it has been decided that Duffy, (Admin NCO) will keep an eye on the target incase of fire and if there is trouble he'll radio it in from his 5/4. The base camp will dispatch a truck to extinguish the fire if need be.

Well sure enough, a fire breaks out. The antenna target ended up catching the old lodge on fire. In the basement was loose papers just past ankle deep, and didn't it start up there? Of course it did. It was explicit that the lodge is not to be touched and now it's on fire. The course is gone, they're about to get bumped, so Duffy heads to the 5/4 to call it in. Suddenly there's a loud deep roar, a huge dark blur just above him, a big thump and then his world completely blood red.

Duffy was 53. That's why he's the Admin NCO and not running around with the rest of us idiots in the trees. He doesn't need this crap. All he wants is his last two years so he can retire. Now this. So he starts the truck and drives back to the biv without saying a word over the air. Later when we get back we find a completely red 5/4 in the lines. Whaaaa? Turns out there was a fire spotter in the air for the dawn check of the forest. He saw the smoke, radioed the bomber accompanying him and it pasted the target before the fire could get out of control. Duffy and the 5/4 happened to be parked on the track at the edge of the treeline, and the bomber pilot used the trail to line up the run, hit the doors a tiny tad early and dumped some onto the trees before covering the lodge. Fire out and one red 5/4. That stuff is sticky so that truck stayed red for a while. Even the following year there was still a redish tinge to it and was referred to as Duffy's truck.

 

[AEH]

The flaming MO was a historical moment on that tour.  Good troops.  Still remember listening to that stupid "Cotton Eye Joe" song everytime we sat down to eat in the house.  Capt Dooley was a good TC.  He is now a Major in the Australian army currently serving in Iraq.

 

[aesop081]

  .......Still remember listening to that stupid "Cotton Eye Joe" song everytime we sat down to eat in the house.  

Or watching " the grind" on MTV europe before heading out of the camp in the morning

 

[Mineguy]

The night where the drunk chick "penny" drank the chew goo in maingies bottle of bacardi on the shelf while we waited over xmas in the shacks to go to IFOR thinking it "was" the actual bacardi, eh mike?

 

[Mineguy]

Almost forgot mike, Rothenburg and bensons "Wrench" and "thor" down in stores! and of course going to the liquor store on a friday with marc aprile and jordy for the wheeled "bottle" of CC 8)...all stuff that brings a smile ;D