The next two or so months passed quickly. They were full of new sights, new activities, new experiences, and new revelations. One of these latter related to my own role in the war. I had no doubt it would be infinitesimal, but I thought it would be exciting. In my innocence and from my impressions of G.A. Henry and other war stories for boys, I expected to be sent quickly to the trenches, rescuing wounded in no man's land with that calm courage that warranted, even if it did not receive, a Victoria Cross. The reality was very different; I became a night orderly at the camp hospital. . . .
. . .
I personally was faring well and thriving physically. My incompetence in giving first aid, or later care, to a sick or wounded soldier, had been recognized. Through friendly relations, going back to prewar days with a few senior officers and more important, with some sergeants, I was given a cushy job in the quartermaster stores. This was a happy change for me and gave my two brothers in combat service an excuse to address me in their infrequent communications as 'Dear Fighting Grocer'. In this honourable military post I gave service far beyond the call of duty, for I wanted to make sure that I would not lose my new post. As long as I was with a hospital unit, I knew where I was most qualified to operate. It certainly was not in an operating tent. I had already been exposed to that possibility and muffed my opportunity by fainting dead away at the first gruesome incision. That was no way to win a medal for gallantry.
The army could not advance and win the war. It would not withdraw and get us out of that particular war, out of disease, boredom and mounting frustration. This growing malaise was not cured by my own personal fortunate lot, by the comradeship of good friends, by the games we played and the fun we had off duty. It was increased to the point of being intolerable by the fact that my college friends were falling in France, while I was safe and comfortable among my quartermaster stores. My older brother, soon to be severely wounded, was with his battery on the Somme; my younger brother was soon to arrive in England as a gunner. So I must get back and join the fighting services. Moreover, I was now nineteen years old, so my parents could no longer use the argument of infancy. What to do?