Things you just shouldn't say to certain people in the army...

[career_radio-checker]

Waiting for bus at curb in full fighting order, combats, and Rucksack to go on Weekend ex.

dumb civy lady: Are you in the Army?
me: No, I'm a plumber

 

[George Wallace]

Newbie on Army.ca: "If I join the Army, do I have to get a haircut?"

 

[SharkSlayer7.62]

On a QL3 course morning inspection... A stoker who re mustered spent the night polishing his parade boots. They were roughly the same color as pine cabinets when he started but they were black when he was done. The armour Sargent who was inspecting him declared that he had more polish on his finger from his own polishing than the ex-stoker had on his boots.

The ex-stoker then told him "Your finger should be clean, PO."

The result was a considerable amount of yelling and slammed door that sounded like a gun shot.

 

[Steel Badger]

Exiting the eating mess in Borden, and blissfully unaware of  the approaching gaggle of field grade officers.....


One of the Gentleman:  Hey!  You two privates,  don't you pay compliments?

Private #1:  Oh.........NICE HATS!


Private #2 (Me) : Who are you talking to? awww *(*&^^

 

[Spr.Earl]

MAJIC!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL !!!

Good one!!!!!

 

[Dissident]

dumb civy lady: Are you in the Army?

Nope, I am an extra in a movie.

 

[GUNS]

True story - Shilo 1968 - 164 Troop - Last group of recruits to go through Shilo.

There was this one recruit from far eastern Canada. A really nice guy.
One day we decided to have some fun with him.
I was volunteered to do the honors.
When this guy from far eastern Canada came into the barracks, all the other recruits were talking about their pay raise.
As I was Troop Leader that week, he came over and asked me about this pay raise everyone was talking about.
I asked him if he signed the papers yet.
He asked what papers.
I told him he would have to talk to Sgt. White and ask to sign the "Masturbation Papers" in order to get the raise.
The recruit from far eastern Canada set off to see Sgt. White about the papers.
The guy from far eastern Canada returned and nearly took my head off.
A really nice guy.

 

[Black Watch]

Newbie on Army.ca: "If I join the Army, do I have to get a haircut?"

of course not...you hair becomes the new Mk 4 head protection (Protection, Head, cold and balistic)

 

[Black Watch]

Exiting the eating mess in Borden, and blissfully unaware of  the approaching gaggle of field grade officers.....


One of the Gentleman:   Hey!  You two privates,  don't you pay compliments?

Private #1:  Oh.........NICE HATS!


Private #2 (Me) : Who are you talking to? awww *(*&^^

reminds me of something...
Back when I was a cadet, at camp, I walked by the CSM without paying proper compliments...à
CSM: Check your arms when you pass by me!
Me: Thank you, but my arms are ok...
needless to say I did a lot of push-ups

 

[c.jacob]

Newbie on Army.ca: "If I join the Army, do I have to get a haircut?"

:rofl:

 

[The_Falcon]

reminds me of something...
Back when I was a cadet, at camp, I walked by the CSM without paying proper compliments...à
CSM: Check your arms when you pass by me!
Me: Thank you, but my arms are ok...
needless to say I did a lot of push-ups

That makes no sense.  Why would you pay compliments to a CSM?  Was this a cadet CSM perchance?

 

[Danjanou]

That makes no sense.  Why would you pay compliments to a CSM?  Was this a cadet CSM perchance?

??? The only compliment this old CSM ever got from my troopies was "good morning ya old fart" ;D

 

[The_Falcon]

??? The only compliment this old CSM ever got from my troopies was "good morning ya old fart" ;D

Thats what I am used to, Good Morning/Evening Sir/CSM/RSM.  Never heard of checking your arms, as you walk by CSM.  When standing in front of Sgt-Maj on the parade square or going into his office I have come to attention, but thats not really the same as paying compliments as you walk by.

 

[navymich]

"Ya know, NavyMich, you lazy, nogoodnick reservists..."

And then there's people that can't read the subject of a thread....."people in the ARMY", Kenny.  ;D

 

[Shamrock]

You mean the navy isn't a subelement of the army?

 

[Parked4everuser]

Enjoying a few drinks at a local pub/restaurant:
Civvy(me) to a infanteer(HoM) of the RCR: "So, you're with the PPCLI?"
everyone at table : *GASP*
Civvy: "I mean... so, you're with the RCR?"

 

[career_radio-checker]

Enjoying a few drinks at a local pub/restaurant:
Civvy to a infanteer of the RCR: "So, you're with the PPCLI?"
everyone at table : *GASP*
Civvy: "I mean... so, you're with the RCR?"

or worse yet:

"so, your in the Navy?"

 

[big bad john]

Enjoying a few drinks at a local pub/restaurant:
Civvy(me) to a infanteer(HoM) of the RCR: "So, you're with the PPCLI?"
everyone at table : *GASP*
Civvy: "I mean... so, you're with the RCR?"

This lad will go far, he can see humour in himself.

 

[ExSarge]

This occurred during an in ranks inspection of the battalion by our new battalion commander. While inspecting my platoon the Battalion Commander stops in front of my platoon problem child. Pvt “Mullins” (not his real name) is a living version of the Peanuts character “Pig Pen”. On this day even after being shined buffed and inspected by his Team Leader, Squad Leader, myself and the Platoon leader he is starting to come apart at the seams! His boots laces are unravelling, a button appears to be in the process of falling off and his fatigues that were freshly starched that morning now look like he slept in them! To top it off he has a shiner that he got in a bar punch up the night before!
LTC: “Son who gave you that black eye?”
Mullins: “Geeze, nobody gave it to me. I had to fight for it!” said while morphing from the position of attention to the normal hunched back slouch he adopted. “Say didn’t I see you at the Ancon last night?” Note: The Ancon Inn was, and maybe still is a soldiers Cat house in Panama.

 

[Cliffy433]

Young child at Dog & Pony who'd been haranguing us for some time: "Are you in the army?"
Me (in friendly tone): "No, I wear this due to my keen fashion sense."
Child: "That's not fashion!  That's UGLY!"

Ouch, burned by a 7yo!

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edit: On second thought, not a good tale for a VERY Jr Sgt to be telling should he hope to be viewed as professional.  Perhaps in the context of "lessons learned" but not the way it was written.  I made a mistake and was corrected.


tlm.