Things you just shouldn't say to certain people in the army...

[George Wallace]

CNE, 1983, RCR/RCD 100th Anniversary Display in the Canada Pavilion.

Little Kid:  "What are those "X's" on the front of the tank for?"

Me: (After having explained it dozens of times and still having puzzled looks.) "They are for playing "X and O's".  The "O's" are on the back."

Little Kid walks away satisfied.

 

[Shamrock]

You mean they're not for X's and O's?

That probably explains why there were so many X's and just two O's.

 

[George Wallace]

You mean they're not for X's and O's?

Now I know you'll do OK at RMC.    ;D

 

[GAP]

You mean they're not for X's and O's?

go figure... 

 

[Shamrock]

Here George, let me give you confidence in my post-school career.

"Driver, I need you to lay out my sleeping bag for me while I go give orders to this bush."

 

[HItorMiss]

Young Pte in Recce Pl circa 2001 to WO Miles

WO: Hey you! who owns you?

Pte: Bones me? no one bones me Warrant

WO: PARDON! who the blah blah do you think you are, trying to be funny I'll personaly BONE you anytime I damn well want! Now who OWNS you?

(now at attention) Pte: Ooooohhh OWN's me Warrant, Recce Pl Warrant

WO: Not for very long they dont!

 

[Haggis]

From Government House in 1981.

Civvy:  Where do you get your hats?

Me: (not being a Guardsman, but an incremental member of CG, and having no idea where bearskins come from)  "Well, ma'am, at the end of each soldier's infantry training, they are set loose in Algonquin Park for three days.  There they must catch, kill and form their own bearskins."

Civvy: "Wow.  Thanks!"

CSM: (who was standing about five paces behind me the whole time)  "MCpl, let's talk about your extras."

 

[NavComm]

Me, recruit walking to the smoke pit and not marching properly passes by a very french Master Seaman.

MS: hey you! recruit!  have you got a chit for that?
Me: *thinks: a s*hit? what on earth is she talking about* Yes MasterSeaman!
MS: let's see it then
Me: you want to see it MasterSeaman? I don't know what you mean MasterSeaman. My sh*it?
MS: *trying not to laugh hysterically at me* you're CHIT! CHIT! CHIT!
Me: Oh, I don't have a chit MasterSeaman
MS: then march properly! arms breast pocket high! BREAST POCKET HIGH!
Me: Yes MasterSeaman!

 

[Red 6]

CNE, 1983, RCR/RCD 100th Anniversary Display in the Canada Pavilion.

Little Kid:  "What are those "X's" on the front of the tank for?"

Me: (After having explained it dozens of times and still having puzzled looks.) "They are for playing "X and O's".  The "O's" are on the back."

Little Kid walks away satisfied.

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm dense. What ARE the x's on the front of a tank for?  :

 

[Burrows]

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm dense. What ARE the x's on the front of a tank for?  :

Kisses.

 

[George Wallace]

Snow grousers for the track.

 

[Red 6]

Things a private should never say:

"First sergeant, you're fogging up my glasses."

"First sergeant, did you eat something with garlic in it at the messhall for lunch?"

"Sir, would you mind not yelling in the intercom? It hurts my ears"

"Hey sergeant, who's in charge of this cluster?"

"I never write anything down. I have a photographic memory."

 

[Red 6]

Snow grousers for the track.

Maybe the US Army should buy some of them snow grousers. It would keep all those 70 M1's from turning into bobsleds in the winter...

Do they replace the individual track shoes, or the track pads?

 

[George Wallace]

They replace track pads.  They work for about 100m and then they just become speed bumps as the snow and ice compact in them.

 

[Kenny2]

Same thing as on the M113's, Red.

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

You mean the navy isn't a subelement of the army?

Grrrrr...Ok this is another of those things you shouldn't say....EVER!!! :rage:

 

[GAP]

Grrrrr...Ok this is another of those things you shouldn't say....EVER!!! :rage:

Geee....there's no shame in being a transport service...is there? 

 

[Sig_Des]

Geee....there's no shame in being a transport service...is there? 

:rofl: :rofl:

 

[navymich]

Okay folks, a bit less jocularity when you're speaking about, and to, the Senior Service.  And get those heels together too....

 

[Shamrock]

Army or navy drill?