I am married to a guy going through BMQ right now. I also live with my mother (can't afford our own place) with our 3 year old, 19 month old and we're pregnant and due in May before he comes home. They have our marriage certificate, birth certificates for the kids and we have given them EVERYTHING they ask for to prove we pay my mother rent. Every paper they have ever wanted signed IS signed BY her. He's still paying quarters and rations. On top of him receiving about $1350 a month we get little child tax credit which comes to about $250. I have to pay my mother $600 a month or she threatens to kick us out (never been a great relationship and it IS about money and she's not understanding and VERY selfish). We also have our own personal bills to pay plus groceries and my husband needs money there for things like glasses and hair cuts, etc. My mother and her bf eat my groceries even when I buy every couple of days, we have no savings, and I have literally no friends or family support. How on earth can a family live like this? What else do I have to do to PROVE that we are a family? He's lived at the same address as me for the past year and they HAVE all his EI statements, our tax returns from 2008 and 2009, bank statements in both of our names. We can't prove other than what they ask for and what my mother signs for proof we pay rent. We have no lease or mortgage. How am I supposed to pay all our bills on that much pay? We were told for him to show up with a note signed by her stating how much we pay and signed, then they wanted receipts and a lease signed between us and her, now they want another paper signed and MORE receipts. I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and I am having contractions every hour and I don't think I can take much more stress. My kids need to eat and I have bills I have to pay. HOW CAN THEY DO THIS? Anyone have any information or advice? I'm going to lose my mind!
PAT Platoon and Young Family Problems/Questions
- Thread starter jr2010
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I'm afraid that not much can be done at your end (for now). Your husband MUST inform his chain of command of the situation at home (eg: your situation). Until he is trades qualified, I'm not even sure if they can move you to be with him.
In the end, it's up to him to talk with his instructors, etc, about the situation.
In the end, it's up to him to talk with his instructors, etc, about the situation.
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jr2010 said:
I really do feel for you and your situation.
That's why I always recommend this advice to my own kids: Do NOT have children until you can afford them.
Tell your husband to ask for an appt with the CO if he has already handed in his paperwork to the OR and yet no action has yet been taken. It will be backdated when it does eventually get input (well, for the months he provided receipts for anyway).
Please though, don't blame the CF for "doing this to you". How did you feed/support your kids prior to him joining?
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$1350 a month? Is that all you get as a recruit? I was under the impression that you start at over 30k a year
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DavieRocket77 said:
Here is the link to the pay guides dated Apr 08 http://www.forces.ca/html/payscales_en.aspx and you see according to the table a recruit makes $31,488.
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...I don't know.. Sounds a little strange. When I wen't to St. Jean in '06, they were very administratively focused on us new recruits, there was no way to have your pay screwed up. If, you had the right documents, and signed the right things. Although I do remember some guys who were so dumb, they could barely follow any instructions let alone sign their signature in the right place lol.
I took a pay-cut to join up, but when I didn't have to pay r&q, plus we got the separation pay, it was quite manageable. ( mortgage, plus kids)
I hope it works out for you....
COD
I took a pay-cut to join up, but when I didn't have to pay r&q, plus we got the separation pay, it was quite manageable. ( mortgage, plus kids)
I hope it works out for you....
COD
Eye In The Sky
Army.ca Legend
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The best thing your husband can do is tell his Section Commander he wishes to speak to the Platoon Warrant Officer. He should immediately tell his Section Commander what is going on, and how it is affecting his family, i.e. you.
The recruit school, CFLRS sees literally hundreds of new recruits weekly usually. It is a very busy place and there are alot od administrative issues that get dealt with. There is also not an overly huge admin staff there. Not that is an excuse for what is happening, just pointing out that they are like alot of units these days...somewhat understaffed.
Also, the instructor staff staff like is (it was when I was an instructor there) understaffed as well, so that means less instructors to look after the same, if not more, recruits than before. Each instructor only has so many working hours a day. Again, not excuses, just some info.
Your husband needs to inform his Section Commander immediately of what is going on. The Section Commander will then take the appropriate action, which, if it was me, would be a quick stroll down to the Orderly Room to make an enquiry as to what is going on with Pte Bloggins, the R & Q situation, seperation allowance, etc and letting them know the basics of Pte Bloggins situation so they know it is more than just a routine case. If that didn't start some movement, then the Warrant Officer would become involved and work his/her magic...which there are a few options for.
I will say this...it is usually looked at alittle closer when someone is "living at home" and claiming they are paying $$ to their parents. It is usually clear cut when there is no...personal relationship...between the tenant and landlord. I know of 1 good friend of mine who went thru something similar when he was at CFSCE a few years ago who moved his family home to Cape Breton while he did his POET crse and had some trouble proving they were living in the basement apartment of his in-laws house, only because it didn't have its own Postal Code.
There is only 1 person in your family who can get this fixed, and that is your husband thru his chain of command. Remind him not to go about it all huffy and puffy or he might not get the results he is looking for. Calm cool and with the facts only will work best with his Chain of Command.
:2c:
The recruit school, CFLRS sees literally hundreds of new recruits weekly usually. It is a very busy place and there are alot od administrative issues that get dealt with. There is also not an overly huge admin staff there. Not that is an excuse for what is happening, just pointing out that they are like alot of units these days...somewhat understaffed.
Also, the instructor staff staff like is (it was when I was an instructor there) understaffed as well, so that means less instructors to look after the same, if not more, recruits than before. Each instructor only has so many working hours a day. Again, not excuses, just some info.
Your husband needs to inform his Section Commander immediately of what is going on. The Section Commander will then take the appropriate action, which, if it was me, would be a quick stroll down to the Orderly Room to make an enquiry as to what is going on with Pte Bloggins, the R & Q situation, seperation allowance, etc and letting them know the basics of Pte Bloggins situation so they know it is more than just a routine case. If that didn't start some movement, then the Warrant Officer would become involved and work his/her magic...which there are a few options for.
I will say this...it is usually looked at alittle closer when someone is "living at home" and claiming they are paying $$ to their parents. It is usually clear cut when there is no...personal relationship...between the tenant and landlord. I know of 1 good friend of mine who went thru something similar when he was at CFSCE a few years ago who moved his family home to Cape Breton while he did his POET crse and had some trouble proving they were living in the basement apartment of his in-laws house, only because it didn't have its own Postal Code.
There is only 1 person in your family who can get this fixed, and that is your husband thru his chain of command. Remind him not to go about it all huffy and puffy or he might not get the results he is looking for. Calm cool and with the facts only will work best with his Chain of Command.
:2c:
Eye In The Sky, sounds like excellent advice..., except we are all forgetting one little detail.
Once you are in and exposed to various and sundry admin details, staff, etc., and have a sense of what you might be entitled to a confidence builds up....not so new recruits....
up to this point most take everything as gospel, because that mindset it required to get through BMQ and the huge changes in information and lifestyle everything requires....
Are you going "Rock the Boat" at this point.....a lot of guys/gals without the confidence of previous exposure gives them....just won't. They won't think they can take a problem to their staff/WO, etc. and get something solved, usually until everything blows up and they MUST deal with it or end up VR'ing...
Once you are in and exposed to various and sundry admin details, staff, etc., and have a sense of what you might be entitled to a confidence builds up....not so new recruits....
up to this point most take everything as gospel, because that mindset it required to get through BMQ and the huge changes in information and lifestyle everything requires....
Are you going "Rock the Boat" at this point.....a lot of guys/gals without the confidence of previous exposure gives them....just won't. They won't think they can take a problem to their staff/WO, etc. and get something solved, usually until everything blows up and they MUST deal with it or end up VR'ing...
ArmyVern said:
This is an entirely personal question but if you really need to know, but after I went back to work at my factory job making $40 000 a year from Maternity Leave with my daughter, two weeks in I was laid off. Since I used up all the money I got paid for one year with my being at home with my daughter I didn't get anything again. Two weeks after that my husband was laid off. We had just moved from a 1 bed apt to a 2 bed and he went to find another job and I couldn't find a job because I just found out we were pregnant again and everywhere was starting to lay off so I couldn't get a job. It also made no sense to work for $10 a hour full time and pay day care $300 out of a $400 check and make about $60 a week when I could give up the $60 and stay home.
My husband worked off and on in construction during summer and winter weather (got laid off in the winter) and there aren't too many high paying jobs around here. At 36 weeks my Father died at the age of 54 from Hepatitis C (another great memory from my childhood was watching him...this was the result). My husband was on EI and looking for a job and working the odd temp job and never got in enough hours for the year (2009) after our son was born, and we couldn't make ends meet in our $1000/month + utilities (that's cheap for rentals where we live) so we moved in with my Mother even though we knew she'd make us pay half her re. My Paternal Grandfather passed away on Mar 16, 2009 and my Paternal Grandmother passed away on Aug 14, 2009 (two weeks before my Father's 1st year death anniversary). The only methods of birth control open to me were hormonal and the last time I was on birth control I had some bad side effects, so I couldn't take it (ie: the pill, deprovera, etc). On my son's 1st birthday even after using condoms we found out we were expecting again - NOT my happiest moment as I had just lost 3 people in the past year and I gained a bit of weight from dealing with it. Then on my daughter's birthday in Oct I lost my Great Aunt who I was very close to as a child.
My husband applied to the Army last June and kept being pushed back and back due to his high blood pressure and even the doctor felt exercise would fix it. So he exercised and fixed it. He finally got told just after Christmas he'll be leaving in the New Year.
The last 3 months have been a struggle living on $250 because we fought with my mother over it. I have no other family at all. I could go on all day what happened to me as a child, but it's not any one's business and I'm trying to move on past it and when my Father died I struggled with a lot of stuff.
So now here I sit, waiting for all the papers they keep asking for to 'finally' go through, 8 months pregnant, looking forward to hiring people to watch my kids because my mother is 'supportive' to me and looking forward to 3 days off. I wanted to have a home birth, but because she won't stop smoking in the house the midwives won't come. So I get to go to the hospital, leave my kids with strangers that are approved with home daycares and licensed to have a baby by myself while he stays there.
Although you can tell your kids what you do say, not all of us HAVE parents like you. Don't judge me or tell me how I should be (at 28) when I have had no parents like you what so ever. I have done everything on my own since I can remember and I moved out at 17 and have been with my then bf, now husband ever since. I think I'm doing pretty good for starting out so crappy.
Yes he only gets paid that much and yes I know they back date it, IF they accept what they wanted us to sign this time. In the mean time I have to find some things my kids need, a couple of things for the baby because all my stuff is in storage, and I still need to find a few things for myself that I obviously can't live without (feminine things) for after the baby is born.
Thank you to all the others that just gave their opinion freely and nicely and were pretty supportive. It's quite depressing having to go through the history of the past 4 years of my life. Birth is supposed to be exciting and a happy time for the family, in my family it means a lot less to most and no room for feelings.
Not everyone is loved and not everyone is wanted and we're nothing but an obligation. Thank God it's almost over is all I can seriously think of.
And if you notice I didn't blame them for doing this to me. I can agree that we got here on our own merit and a lot of REALLY bad things that happened to us. When I asked that question I was referring HOW they can do that to a family after we have given them EVERYTHING they keep asking for and they just want more of the same thing because I'm seriously getting stressed out financially and I'm NOT super woman. I wish I was some days.
Eye In The Sky
Army.ca Legend
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GAP said:
Agreed, which is why I suggested he request to see his Platoon WO (usually the Crse I/C at CFLRS, a Crse O will or [or was when I was staff there several years ago now] the Crse O for several Crse's due to staff shortages) and info his Sect Cmdr the details of his situation.
Any MCpl or Snr NCO worth his/her rations is going to action this one ASAP if the info we've been presented are accurate.
I think you'd agree the Sgt or WO making an appearance at the Student Orderly Room with a few questions and a "can you speed this one up for me" to his/her POC at the OR is a reasonable COA for resolution. I have to believe in the NCO/WO net as to the 1st COA having used it myself many times for subordinates of mine back when I was allowed to have some :blotto:.
I will say this...CFLRS is not the best when it comes to this stuff. I don't agree with how business is done up there WRT several issues, Recruit Admin being one of them.
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DavieRocket77 said:
As dangerboy said, you make over 30k a year...but you still get taxed, various deductions etc, and rations and quarters taken off your pay. For a single guy with no dependents that amount a month sounds about right for new guys in Quebec.
If you are single, and good with your money, you can rack up a good savings in short order.
Bzzliteyr
Army.ca Veteran
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Eye In The Sky said:
EITS: I suggest you talk in "real people" talk to this person. She is not in the military and you just threw about half a dozen acronyms her way!! It's already confusing enough to try and understand what's going on and we (military folks) are often guilty of forgetting that others don't know all of our jargon!
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jr2010 said:
Look, I realize that your horomones are all wacky and stuff right now ...
But, I didn't ask you ANY question. If I did, I missed it. Nor did I infer that I wanted "to know" anything about the details.
As a matter of fact, the one bit of my post that you didn't quote was the bit where I said, "I really do feel for you" that preceeded the part you did choose to quote. Perhaps you thought that I was just kidding? Relax ... I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that it is just your horomones speaking.
If I really didn't give two shits about your situation, I wouldn't have told you to tell your old man to SPEAK to someone about the situation now would I?
Bzzliteyr said:
LOL Thanks for the heads up to them and me. I do understand what some meanings are but not all. My husband will be very happy to have this information because I will be very HAPPY to have it and tell him
Thanks so much for everyone's help. This is MORE information I have gotten on here than anywhere and I'm less hormonal now. Lack of sleep and 2 kids and a pregnancy can do that TY again!!!Similar threads
