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Describing political systems using cows

a_majoor

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POLITICS  EXPLAINED WITH COWS

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The State takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of the cows. The State gives you as much milk as you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The State takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of all the chickens the State took from the chicken farmers. The State gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

Pure Fascism: You have two cows. The State takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Corporate Fascism: You have two cows. The State takes both; their cronies form a corporation, hire you to take care of the cows and sell you the milk.
Dictatorship: You have two cows. The State takes both; drafts you.

Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbor helps you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them but the State takes all the milk.
Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbor decides who gets the milk.
Represenative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbor picks someone to tell you who gets the milk.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the State regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure-Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. 
Libertarian-anarcho-capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The State requires you to take harmonica lessons.
 
Wasn't that in the UTNE Reader a few years ago?  I used to have it hanging in my cubicle...
 
dapaterson said:
Wasn't that in the UTNE Reader a few years ago?  I used to have it hanging in my cubicle...

I thought the only thing that you could hang in a cubicle was the occupant?  Or is that just MY part of NDHQ?
 
Michael O'Leary said:
Here's your harmonica .....

Well my building does look like an institution...

(signed)

Cool Hand Haggis
 
This is starting to sound like George Orwell's book Animal Farm. Well, I've got to head out for work. Time to MOOOOOVE out...  :P
 
I'm confused......I see clowns....oh those scary clowns, I'm afraid of clowns, I should go back to farming where I can be safe in a barn with my two milk cows.  Knock ..Knock at the barn door....you sir I want to buy some milk for the clown reunion next door. Oh where are those bureaucrats when you need them.
 
3rd Horseman said:
I'm confused......I see clowns....oh those scary clowns, I'm afraid of clowns, I should go back to farming where I can be safe in a barn with my two milk cows.  Knock ..Knock at the barn door....you sir I want to buy some milk for the clown reunion next door. Oh where are those bureaucrats when you need them.

Drinking before noon again, I see.....

;D
 
This thread is on the horns of a dilemma, I think we've milked it for all it's worth.  ;)
 
a_majoor said:
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the State regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

What a beefitting analysis of the army.
 
Oh man, I've run out of puns. I guess we've herd them all....  ::)
 
man,ure all crazy... is there a cow pun none of us has herbivore?
 
Moo along......Nothing to see here.

As this is now udderly out of cowtroll, it is time to moooove it to Greener Pastures.

Radio Chatter?
 
Definitely!....can we move the NDP also?
 
Do you want to move the Non-Democratic Party there as a whole, or just as a topic?
 
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