I am here to seek advice, if there is any to be had on the topic. Hopefully it is ok for me to ask and this is the correct place.
My fiancé is going though Basic training. It has been his life long dream and I feel like he maybe went in there with to naïve of a view, thinking that everything would go smoothly now that he made it through the recruiting process. I know he is struggling. I believe especially with the inspections, amount of beratement, and that most of his platoon does not want to work as a team and it is dragging them all down. He is very worried about failing.
I am attempting to be as supportive as possible. Not distract or demand or tell him anything bad from home, I do tell him that its all going to be ok, everything will get better, not to quit, and that the instructors purpose is to be hard on them and change them, just let it roll off.
I feel like most of this is empty sounding, as I have not been there, and I am not sure if general civi life is relatable. And my usual response I was raised with was nut up.
I have been doing my reading on some of the training format, protocol, tips and tricks, abbreviations, ect. To try and understand more.
If he has trouble with one task and is good at another, make sure he talks with people that may be good at the tasks he is not and trade. Example; I was great at shining boots while I sucked at ironing, to this day I have ironed maybe 3-4 times but shined dozens of boots.
I didn't have a spouse while I was at basic but I have a son. Honestly, my moral went down every time I talked to my son because I missed him so much.
A guy on my basic was so distressed he wanted to VR (voluntary release), so I asked him "Why are you here?" He stated to me he wanted to have a career and to support his wife and kid. I told him "Then do what you gotta do to make them proud and to 3 months is no time at all in the long run of having a normal life" He is still in and is very happy and never looked back.
He needs to realize that much of this is a game as well as a process.
Regardless of how perfect a person's kit is for an inspection, fault will be found, especially during the early stages of a course.
Stress is imposed, in order to see who can deal with it and who cannot.
None of this is personal.
Motivation is the major key to success. If he wants to pass, he needs to want to pass. Ability to learn and perform is also critical, of course, but is secondary to the will to carry on regardless of what is thrown at him.
most of his platoon does not want to work as a team and it is dragging them all down.
My son went thru his basic last summer. He was separated from all forms of technology for 4 weeks. The best thing ever.... It allowed all the troops to bond together... Without the input from friends and family who do not understand.... Ask him now, and he would agree.... But it's like quitting smoking while it happens.
Hundreds of thousands of us completed basic training. There are over a hundred thousand different opinions of basic training. Some of us are old school (Cornwallis) some of us not-so-old-school (MegaPlex) however nothing changes the fact that everyone of us that wear a uniform today, and have worn a uniform in the past have gone through the start of becoming a Canadian Soldier.
I told my son prior to his departure to Saint Jean a few years ago a few nuggets that I will share with you:
- Don't be cocky. You don't know it all and you never will. Everyone will need help and at some point, you will be someones lifeline.
- Don't be disrespectful - to ANYONE. The young, awkward kid next to you or the Warrant Officer that tells you to clean up someone else's mess. Both deserve your attention.
- You are the lowest rank possible. You will be shat upon - take it. It will not last, (and like Loachman stressed) it's not personal.
- Be the grey man. Don't draw needless attention to yourself.
- Do it and do it as fast as possible. If you are done before others, assist them. Teamwork begins with you.
- You are a soldier. We train right from day 1 for the battlefield, hoping to never be there but knowing if we are, we are the finest trained force in the world. It HAS to come from somewhere.
As others in this thread have rightfully put it, it will get better. In one ear, out the other - retain what's necessary. Mind in neutral - do what needs to be done, learn things and it WILL get better. Becoming discouraged is normal, but the measure of a soldier is how quickly you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, find your dropped mag and reload.
He will do fine. We aren't here to break him, but to build him. And in order to do this, sometimes we have to "CLR a few layers of civi away first!"