Author Topic: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse  (Read 1133 times)

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Offline tech_spouse

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Hi folks,

I'm currently a spouse of a service member living OUTCAN, and I'm trying to come up with a plan so both myself and my wife can have fulfilling careers when we return. Originally when I started dating my wife she was talking about releasing and returning to the civilian world, so I never had thought that my career would be affected much by hers. But then came her promotion and the option of a OUTCAN posting, so she decided to stick it out a while longer. And now we are at the point where she no longer wants to release because of her pension (can't blame her).

Currently I'm not working (I took a sabbatical when we took the posting), and finishing my degree (I originally left school to take a full time software development job). In two years I do want to return to the working world, but we don't have any idea where she'll be posted next. It's entirely possible that she'll be posted somewhere with minimal professional options for me. As of right now I see two options (in descending order of desirability):

1) We put my career first, and try for postings in/near a select number of cities. This may require my wife turning down postings or promotions (I don't know if this is even possible).
2) My wife takes a IP posting and we live apart until she gets a position near me.

Another option is I join the CF, but that would require I take a substantial pay cut, even as an officer I would start making less than 1/2 of the salary I'm used to. Plus I don't know what the career outlook for a 35 year old newly commissioned 2LT would be, even with more than a decade of civilian software development/management experience.

Right now there's no rush to solve this problem, but I'd like to have a few ideas when I talk about this with my wife. Maybe some people here have gone through this same situation and can offer some advice? I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Online mariomike

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2017, 09:14:28 »
Another option is I join the CF, but that would require I take a substantial pay cut, even as an officer I would start making less than 1/2 of the salary I'm used to.

If interested in becoming a Service Couple, you may find these discussions of interest,

Milnet.ca
Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couple&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=kZRbWbfYEcOR8Qee17OgCw&gws_rd=ssl

Forces.ca
CF member and service spouse
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/about-policies-standards-benefits-relocation/2011-2012-directive-ch10.page

Forces.ca
My spouse/partner is already in the Forces. If I join, will we be posted together?

Married couples who are both serving in the Forces are typically posted together to the same location. However, the Forces is occasionally unable to accommodate spouses in cases where there are distinct differences in occupations or elements (e.g. posting an Air Weapons Specialist with his/her Infantry spouse) or because of operational requirements, such as overseas deployments.
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-220

Plus I don't know what the career outlook for a 35 year old newly commissioned 2LT would be, even with more than a decade of civilian software development/management experience.

Officer career at 35 
http://army.ca/forums/index.php/topic,105928.0/nowap.html

old officer question 
http://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=41488.0
OP: "But is 35 too old?"

How old is too old to be an Officer?
http://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=25862.0

What age is too old to commission 
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=116765.0

Am I too old to join/do well/fit in? (Merged thread)
https://army.ca/forums/index.php?topic=207.0
12 pages.

etc...



« Last Edit: July 04, 2017, 15:32:50 by mariomike »
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Offline daftandbarmy

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2017, 09:55:06 »
Hi folks,

I'm currently a spouse of a service member living OUTCAN, and I'm trying to come up with a plan so both myself and my wife can have fulfilling careers when we return. Originally when I started dating my wife she was talking about releasing and returning to the civilian world, so I never had thought that my career would be affected much by hers. But then came her promotion and the option of a OUTCAN posting, so she decided to stick it out a while longer. And now we are at the point where she no longer wants to release because of her pension (can't blame her).

Currently I'm not working (I took a sabbatical when we took the posting), and finishing my degree (I originally left school to take a full time software development job). In two years I do want to return to the working world, but we don't have any idea where she'll be posted next. It's entirely possible that she'll be posted somewhere with minimal professional options for me. As of right now I see two options (in descending order of desirability):

1) We put my career first, and try for postings in/near a select number of cities. This may require my wife turning down postings or promotions (I don't know if this is even possible).
2) My wife takes a IP posting and we live apart until she gets a position near me.

Another option is I join the CF, but that would require I take a substantial pay cut, even as an officer I would start making less than 1/2 of the salary I'm used to. Plus I don't know what the career outlook for a 35 year old newly commissioned 2LT would be, even with more than a decade of civilian software development/management experience.

Right now there's no rush to solve this problem, but I'd like to have a few ideas when I talk about this with my wife. Maybe some people here have gone through this same situation and can offer some advice? I would appreciate it. Thanks.

Just in case you thought the grass might be greener on the CF side:  :nod:

"There's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences." Jack Welch
 Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jackwelch451360.html
"The most important qualification of a soldier is fortitude under fatigue and privation. Courage is only second; hardship, poverty and want are the best school for a soldier." Napoleon

Offline tech_spouse

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2017, 10:10:53 »
Just in case you thought the grass might be greener on the CF side:  :nod:

"There's no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences." Jack Welch
 Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jackwelch451360.html

You are correct about that. Living apart and each of us having our own careers is probably the best situation for us, but I thought I should consider all my options.

Online Loachman

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2017, 15:12:34 »
Another option is I join the CF

That gives you no guarantee of being posted together.

Some Married Service Couples (do a Site search for that term) get lucky with postings, and some do not - even to the point of multiple apart-postings in a row.

Offline tech_spouse

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2017, 19:57:12 »
That gives you no guarantee of being posted together.

Some Married Service Couples (do a Site search for that term) get lucky with postings, and some do not - even to the point of multiple apart-postings in a row.

I now realize that after some additional reading, thanks for the heads up. Guess crossing my fingers that my wife's next posting is somewhere where I can find work. Or I'll have to find a company that will allow me to work remotely. I've never worked remotely but it's an option with my skill set.

Offline Humphrey Bogart

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #6 on: July 04, 2017, 20:09:30 »
Tech_spouse,

You and your wife have reached the point every military couple eventually faces:

Do I give up my career to have a better family life or sacrifice at home to continue my service?

Things will not get any easier as your wife progresses in her career, it will only get harder.  The more senior in rank someone is, the more commitment the service expects from them.  How far are you willing to go?  Lieutenant-Colonel and above, things move very quickly and you may find yourself moving almost yearly in some cases.

I'm doing the opposite of your wife, in my 13th year of service, I'm calling it quits.  A number of reasons but work-life balance definitely is a factor in my decision. 

I don't know what service/trade your wife is part of but some Army bases are complete crap locations for spouse employment.  Live in Petawawa?  Your options are to live halfway between Ottawa and there and you both commute, elsewhere it's less promising.

PM me if you wish to discuss more.

Online mariomike

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2017, 20:11:58 »
tech_spouse

Did you read the Forces.ca Frequently Asked Questions?

11. My spouse/partner is already in the Forces. If I join, will we be posted together?

Married couples who are both serving in the Forces are typically posted together to the same location. However, the Forces is occasionally unable to accommodate spouses in cases where there are distinct differences in occupations or elements (e.g. posting an Air Weapons Specialist with his/her Infantry spouse) or because of operational requirements, such as overseas deployments.
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-220

I also posted it in Reply #1 for your information.

Also from Reply #1,

Milnet.ca
Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couple&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=kZRbWbfYEcOR8Qee17OgCw&gws_rd=ssl

As always,  Recruiting is your most trusted source of information.

« Last Edit: July 04, 2017, 20:46:42 by mariomike »
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Offline garb811

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2017, 20:54:31 »
...
2) My wife takes a IP posting and we live apart until she gets a position near me.
...
I think you are referring to an "IR" (Imposed Restriction) posting?  If so, be well aware that no such beast exists for anyone coming back to Canada from OUTCAN.  Both of you, and your HG&E, will be moved to where her next posting in Canada is.  If you then decide to move to another location that will not be reflected in your family status as, according to the system, you and everything you move with you, is still considered to be where the CAF moved you to upon your return to Canada.  That means:

1)  It is totally on your own dime;
2)  You are not entitled to the few IR benefits that now remain;
3)  On her next posting, they will not move "your" stuff from wherever you have moved it to her next posting, even if you want to move;
4)  If something happens (ie. you become seriously ill) she will not be entitled to Compassionate Travel Allowance to get to your location and vice versa;
etc etc

I have watched several MP do this on returning to Canada from Embassies contrary to reams of advice and each time it didn't work out well for the member...

Offline tech_spouse

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2017, 08:21:50 »
tech_spouse

Did you read the Forces.ca Frequently Asked Questions?

11. My spouse/partner is already in the Forces. If I join, will we be posted together?

Married couples who are both serving in the Forces are typically posted together to the same location. However, the Forces is occasionally unable to accommodate spouses in cases where there are distinct differences in occupations or elements (e.g. posting an Air Weapons Specialist with his/her Infantry spouse) or because of operational requirements, such as overseas deployments.
http://www.forces.ca/en/page/faq-220

I also posted it in Reply #1 for your information.

Also from Reply #1,

Milnet.ca
Service Couple
https://www.google.ca/search?q=site%3Aarmy.ca+service+couple&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-CA:IE-Address&ie=&oe=&rlz=1I7GGHP_en-GBCA592&gfe_rd=cr&ei=kZRbWbfYEcOR8Qee17OgCw&gws_rd=ssl

As always,  Recruiting is your most trusted source of information.

Yes I did. I was already aware that being posted together might not be possible, especially if your trades take place in different environments (ie, one being a hard sea trade and the other a army combat arms trade). But thanks for the links earlier, cheers.

Offline tech_spouse

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2017, 08:33:20 »
I think you are referring to an "IR" (Imposed Restriction) posting?  If so, be well aware that no such beast exists for anyone coming back to Canada from OUTCAN.  Both of you, and your HG&E, will be moved to where her next posting in Canada is.  If you then decide to move to another location that will not be reflected in your family status as, according to the system, you and everything you move with you, is still considered to be where the CAF moved you to upon your return to Canada.  That means:

1)  It is totally on your own dime;
2)  You are not entitled to the few IR benefits that now remain;
3)  On her next posting, they will not move "your" stuff from wherever you have moved it to her next posting, even if you want to move;
4)  If something happens (ie. you become seriously ill) she will not be entitled to Compassionate Travel Allowance to get to your location and vice versa;
etc etc

I have watched several MP do this on returning to Canada from Embassies contrary to reams of advice and each time it didn't work out well for the member...

Yeah I meant to write IR, not IP, I'm going to blame auto correct for that one. But that's useful info to know. In this case it'll mean that I'll be on my own if I choose to pursue my own career after returning. I'll have to do more research about what my wife would be entitled to in this situation. Thanks.

Online mariomike

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Re: Options for maintaining careers of both member and spouse
« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2017, 09:12:59 »
But thanks for the links earlier, cheers.

You are welcome. Good luck.  :)

Yeah I meant to write IR, not IP,

You may find this discussion of interest,

Imposed Restriction (IR) Merged Thread 
https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:b6TTPbwqdCIJ:https://army.ca/forums/index.php%3Ftopic%3D83336.25+&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ca
5 pages.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2017, 10:53:01 by mariomike »
Get on the bus. Take a ride with us.
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