Author Topic: Some Advice for Those Who Have Made an Initial Bad First Impression  (Read 6208 times)

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Offline Ex-Dragoon

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Used with permission from MARS who gave a poster some fantastic advice. Names removed to make post more generic.

So, username123  it appears you have fallen prey to the age-old challenge of having made a bad first impression.  There is a reason that the saying "don't judge a book by it's cover" exists - because it is human nature to do that, to make judgements on people, things, ideas, etc, based on very little information, elaboration or background. We - human beings - routinely judge people based on - perhaps flawed - first impressions.    This is what seems to have happened here in my opinion - somewhere you made a rather lackluster first impression that you must now make an effort to correct

I haven't looked through all of your posts, just some of them.  Not ALL of your posts are cause for concern, but the one's that aren't are overshadowed by your other, less accurate/helpful/relevant posts.  This isn't something unique to this particular forum - it happens all over the internet. Although this is a private, non-DND affiliated forum, you had to have at least suspected when you signed up, and you certainly must have realized by now, that it is populated mainly by current or retired CAF members and other professionals.  This site has a robust and comprehensive set of guidelines that the membership are expected to follow.  You don't find those kind of rules and regulations on a lot of other sites.  Sure, sure - you likely didn't read through all the guidelines.  Very few people do when asked to "accept" terms and conditions on the internet.  I know I don't.  However, sometimes a failure to thoroughly read the fine print comes back to bite people in the ***.   Take for example, ANYONE who has ever been surprised at their cell phone bill after travelling outside of Canada when they see how much all those data and roaming charges actually costs.  It is all in the fine print.  So, this site, much like the military, runs on the fine print, like the site guidelines.

Yes, there are others on this site that perhaps get a little more leeway than you.  Life is like that, not just here, or in the CAF, but EVERYWHERE.  People who make bad first impressions tend not to get a lot of my time at work, I tend not to expend any additional time or effort on their problems or requests - outside of what i am required to do - because they made a bad first (and maybe second or third) impression.  It doesn't make it right - it just simply IS.  It is natural. I have a finite amount of time and effort to apply to issues - someone is going to get the short end of the stick occasionally, or repeatedly.

If you think Moderator X is going to change his/her ways, you are sadly mistaken.  If you think you will get sympathy from the majority of the membership here about your current plight, you are mistaken.  If you think this will be any different in the CAF, you are mistaken.  The mods here are understaffed and overworked, just like your superiors are going to be in the CAF.  But they, the mods and your superiors, are part of the establishment and hold more power than you.  So what does that mean?  It means that this issue you are currently facing is YOUR problem.  Maybe not all your fault, but definitely and wholly YOUR problem to solve, if you care to.  I don't think you are doing a very good job of that yet.  It sounds like you have been given a fair amount of advice and counselling by a variety of site members.  It does not appear as though you are receptive to that.  Fair enough, it will likely mean that your stay here will be short and the rest of us will simply carry-on once you are gone, if that is what ultimately happens.  Won't matter a lick to anyone here.  But trust me - while the advice you have been provided may have rubbed you the wrong way, maybe not delivered in a manner you found respectful, it is good advice.  It is designed to ensure this site remains the professional, helpful site that it is to thousands of others.  It is designed to ensure your stay here is fruitful and pleasant.  The vast majority of posters - heck, maybe every poster -  who have issues with the moderation of this site run into problems from a failure to read and adhere to the site guidelines.  They often fail to do this early on in their posts and as such, they create a bad first impression...and now we are back to the start of my post.

Read the guidelines, heed the advice, walk away for now since you are upset.

And good luck

MARS mentor,9

you can find everything you need at the link above

« Last Edit: May 06, 2017, 14:10:18 by kratz »
I will leave your flesh on the mountains and fill the valleys with your carcasses. I will water the land with what flows from you, and the river beds shall be filled with your blood. When I snuff you out I will cover the heavens and all the stars will darken. Ezekiel 32:5-7
Tradition- Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid
Former RCN Sailor now Retired